Friday, December 22, 2006

The Nightmares of a Tenured Cipher

Ah, if only I could go back in time to when I was a college undergraduate... Yes, there is that. But even more than that, it would be so much fun to know exactly what to say to all of my idiot professors. But unfortunately, being just 17 when I started college, I was just as foolish as they were. Well, maybe not that foolish, because I had only spent 13 years in the educational system while they had spent 20 or 30 or 40 years, including their entire adult lives. Most academics have probably never had a real job in the real world, and it shows. They’ve spent their entire lives in the adult sandbox of academia.

I’m very jealous of my gagboy, because he is going have fun being one major pain in the ass to his teachers. Not because I want him to be mindlessly rebellious or skeptical, but because I would like for him to recognize and combat stupidity, which is perhaps what our society needs more than anything else. As Dennis Prager always says, we live in the “age of stupidity,” and no one is more at fault for this than our educational establishment, from K, where they brand 5 year-old boys sexual predators for pinching a girl's bottom, right through graduate school, where they excuse presidents for acting like 5 year-old sexual predators. There is literally no bigger rip-off in all of America than a college education at an elite university. Is there anything else you can think of that costs so much but has no correlation with quality?

What is so shocking to me is that, of all people, my generation -- the baby boomers -- should have been the first to see through the scam. We are the most overeducated generation in history. Since most of us have had the experience of going to college, one would think that we would be the most disenchanted. We have seen behind the curtain. We know full well that for most people it’s just an expensive piece of paper.

Not so for my father, who had only an eighth grade education in England. Although he became a successful businessman, I am sure he was quite self-conscious about his lack of education. And yet, it didn’t show. Speaking with him, you would never know that he hadn’t been to college. In terms of business, I am sure he had as much practical know-how as any MBA. In fact, he had certain innate business skills that no college can teach, in that he was a born salesman. Not in any “hard sell” sense of the term, but because in every interaction with someone, from the mailman, to a bank teller, to his subordinates, he made people laugh and feel a little better about being alive.

Nevertheless, because he hadn’t been to college, it was naturally a very awesome and mysterious place -- even more so, since he had absorbed the class consciousness of England, where everyone knows their place, and if not, there’s someone nearby to remind them of it. So I and my three brothers all went to college, which for me was a singularly underwhelming experience. Even in graduate school, where I did have one particularly brilliant and irreplaceable mentor, the vast majority of my education was self-directed. By then, I had begun an intense inner quest that had its own energy and dynamic, and drew what it needed to itself. And what it needed was far beyond anything college could offer. Being a “student” merely provided me with the time and space required to embark on the journey. The location or status of the physical college would not have mattered.

These meditations were provoked upon reading this editorial by a professor Mark Taylor, Faith That Refuses Questions. A bit of quick research on amazon reveals that he is indeed what I suspected, one of those vacuous postmodern intellectual laborers who gets paid for messing with children’s brains. Here is a description of one of his books, About Religion: Economies of Faith in Virtual Culture: “What is religion about in the late 20th century? In a virtual world where surface images provide the depth of reality, what role does religion play? These are only two of the many questions that Taylor explores in his inimitably playful way. He begins by asking how can we engage in speculation about the existence of God after God's death and he argues that Melville's 'The Confidence-Man: His Masquerade' provides the best portrait of the bankruptcy of faith.”

Playful? Even a game has a point. What’s his?

“In other essays, Taylor.... explores the similarities between ancient alchemy and the virtual Postmodern culture. ‘Today's alchemists,’ he notes, ‘sublimate base matter into immaterialities on fiber-optic networks where everything is light.’ Where is religion in the late modern age? Taylor concludes: ‘The religion that today calls for reflection does not answer questions or provide meaning but abandons us... [It is] forever turning toward what is always slipping away; we can never be certain what religion is about.’ As comfortable talking about Karl Marx as about contemporary sculptors Fred Sandback and Richard Serra, Taylor courses through the history of ideas and the images of pop culture to demonstrate that religion, art and literature are cultural constructs inextricably bound together.”

Playful, or hideously pompous bloviation crying out for an editor? One of those two.

Here’s the first paragraph of the book. Like so much academonic nonsense, it would have to go a long way to be even wrong: “Faith is a confidence game whose stakes are undeniably economic. There is an economy of faith that mirrors and is mirrored by faith in economics. The speculum in which this play of mirrors is staged is the space of speculation. But what does it mean to speculate? What are the stakes of speculation? Is it still possible to credit speculation or to have confidence in any economy? When the economy is theological -- and what economy is not implicitly or explicitly theological? -- do speculative systems credit or discredit the currency of belief? At this late date, might it be possible that the only way to credit faith is to discredit what was once named God?”

What utter, flaming bulls*** masquerading as thought. $40,000 a year to fill your freshman child’s head with this kind of sophomoronic mush?

Anyway, like me, Professor Taylor is worried. However, we are worried about opposite things. While I am worried about his influence on students, he is worried that “more American college students seem to be practicing traditional forms of religion today than at any time in my 30 years of teaching,” which he calls “religious correctness” -- thereby confusing the disease with its cure.

He is obviously upset, because these religiously correct students seem immune to the charms of his academically correct vacuities. “Indeed,” he writes, “it seems the more religious students become, the less willing they are to engage in critical reflection about faith.” Translated, this means that these dangerous students are less willing to confuse a prideful ability to doubt anything with the discernment of truth.

Taylor claims that “professors invite harassment or worse by including ‘unacceptable’ books on their syllabuses or by studying religious ideas and practices in ways deemed improper by religiously correct students.” I find this impossible to believe -- that the real problem on college campuses is not that they are politically correct factories for the inculcation of leftist thought, but that they cater too much to the religiously inclined.

He even makes the paranoid assertion that “Distinguished scholars at several major U.S. universities have been condemned, even subjected to death threats, for proposing psychological, sociological or anthropological interpretations of religious texts.” As if this is a genuine concern -- as if it takes great courage -- or any courage at all -- to denigrate and devalue religion on a college campus. The idea is preposterous. It takes more courage for a Hollywood celebrity to come out as a liberal.

Taylor then says that “In the most egregious cases, defenders of the faith insist that only true believers are qualified to teach their religious tradition.” To which one can only reply, “well duh.” Any religion, in order to be understood, must be understood “from the inside,” because that is precisely the sort of knowledge embodied in religion: interior knowledge. Religions are not about the horizontal, objective, or quantitative world, and to treat them as such is to misunderstand them, precisely. They are specifically roadmaps of the cosmic interior, and only someone who knows the territory on a first hand basis is qualified to teach about it.

It is absolutely no different with, say, psychoanalysis, which cannot be understood objectively, but only subjectively. Its truths must be experienced, or they are no truth at all, just empty “k.” It is no coincidence that the most egregious misunderstandings and misapplications of psychoanalysis have always come from academia, because intellectuals naturally believe it is something that can be greedily understood just like any other merely intellectual system.

The purpose of an elite university education is no longer to become educated -- to acquire a well-furnished mind and familiarize oneself with the best things that have been thought and said -- but to become stupid by elevating a means to an end. Thus, upon contact with his luckless students, Professor Taylor tells them “that if they are not more confused and uncertain at the end of the course than they were at the beginning, I will have failed.” In short, the goal of education is to make students as lost and confused as Professor Taylor, through the deification of man’s capacity to doubt anything.

Yes, the ultimate purpose of higher education is “to cultivate a faith in doubt that calls into question every certainty.” $40,000 per year to learn nothing -- to be steeped in postmodern nihilism and call it education. Again, not even wrong -- just sanction from an adult to engage in adolescent rebellion for the rest of one’s life.

“The aim of critical analysis is not to pass judgment on religious beliefs and practices... but to consider the many functions they serve.”

Oh, I doubt that. I think the purpose of critical analysis is to undermine the sacred covenant between words and things and therefore thought and reality. Said another way, its purpose is to cement the bond between nonsense and tenure, so that third rate minds can have a lifetime job metastasizing their sophistry.

The Professor avers that religions don’t deal in truth, but are merely “networks of symbols, myths and rituals, which evolve over time by adapting to changing circumstances.”

Oh, I doubt that as well. He’s actually talking about his own flabby and undisciplined mind, which is indeed an evolving agglomeration of myths and rituals. Here is an example of what is called projection: “If chauvinistic believers develop deeper analyses of religion, they might begin to see in themselves what they criticize in others.” Un-projecting the statement and returning it to its rightful owner, it should read: if frivolous know-nothing professors engage in a deeper analysis of their ideology, they will see that they are every bit as steeped in faith as the religionists they criticize -- only more so.

Taylor conludes by noting that “Until recently, many influential analysts argued that religion, a vestige of an earlier stage of human development, would wither away as people became more sophisticated and rational. Obviously, things have not turned out that way.”

Obviously not. Those analysts -- including Professor Taylor -- were neither as sophisticated nor as rational as people had supposed, but remain mired in that vestigial stage of human development known as adolescence. It’s just a shame that our own adolescents have to learn the “facts of life” from their fellows instead of an informed adult.

It is corrupting to hear or read the words of men who do not believe in truth. It is yet more corrupting to receive, in place of truth, mere learning and scholarship which, if they are presented as ends in themselves, are no more than parodies of the truth they were meant to serve, no more than a facade behind which there is no substance. --Father Seraphim Rose

115 comments:

Anonymous said...

Obviously, Professor Taylor is missing the boat.

NoMo said...

Bob – You have reminded me of my own narrow escape from the sandbox. Reality (family and responsibilities) got in the way of grad school. Too bad more "professors" don't let reality get in their way.

Strangely, I believe it was the critical abilities I did develop in college that helped force me to follow through to the logical conclusions of my relativistic mindset – where I found only despair, emptiness, and meaninglessness. That, and my resolute determination to know the Truth (Calvin might have some idea where that came from).

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified." (Romans 8:28-30 TNIV)

Pretty amazing, however you interpret it.

Anonymous said...

Jenny--

True, he has missed the boat. However, he will be the first to tell you that, although he has never sailed, he understands sailing -- even though boats are just a construct and water doesn't really exist.

Anonymous said...

I'm a bobble-head, because my head is bobbing up and down--yes...yes...yes...yes...

So, now what? I wonder, should we pull our kids out of college to avoid the kind of damage Bob talks about here?

How about the hard sciences? Certainly religion never gets dissed in those kinds of classes. Perhaps we can kind of nudge our kids away from the "liberal arts" which seem to contain the offending type of professor.

How about Christian colleges? There's a good solution. Send your kid to a Christian college.

It ought to be easy to find one, just use Google.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, there are too few professors like this guy:
http://www.townhall.com/content.aspx?ContentGuid=ad845833-324a-4b1b-a752-852d8d97be87

-b

Anonymous said...

Bobblehead--

I'm not sure of you are serious, but if I could do it again, instead of attending bartending college -- and nearly graduating, I might add -- I would have attended a "great books" program. I eventually did familiarize myself with those foundational texts of western civilization, but that was only after being expelled, I mean, after leaving school.

Anonymous said...

I was alerted to this dangerous blogsite by a colleague. I am compelled to retort to its venemous rhetoric.

The vehicle of "God faith" is no more bombastic, then say, the Church or the "Churchies," as I like to call those misinformed people who believe in things like "God" or "souls" or "traditional values."

We choose what meaning we make of our lives, and if speculation gives rise to meaning from meaninglessness, then the speculative mindset is the mind of your "God."

But religion is the fodder for the cannon of conformity and stupidity, shot at the masses from the pseudo-high-horse of false faith.

Perhaps the reason, oh mighty Gag-me-Bob, that you have so much disdain for your intellectual elites is that you are jealous of our comfort with the real truth that there is no God and that religion is the worst thing that has ever happened to human civilization.

You criticize what you do not and can not understand. Academia is the last and only hope for human kind. Only the intellectual elite can solve the world's problems and bring justice and peace and prosperity to the masses.

But only if we can stop the noxious thought that you give voice to on this blog.

Together, if you choose to accept a higher mission, Gag-Me-Bob, the intellectual elites can drag humanity up from the shallow mode of thought you are now slogging through.

The choice is yours.

Anonymous said...

A shame because our first colleges were essentially religious institutions, Harvard included.

How these ivory-tower profs can preach peace/love/egalitarian bliss with straight faces is beyond my ken. When I had to huddle with these bozos during my years in grad school, I was amazed at the amount of rank jealousy, sexual degradation, sniping, juvenile jostling for position, and general overall internecine warfare. Seriously, jackals treat each other with more respect.

Darfur is what God thinks of academe. In my estimation.

Anonymous said...

Tenured Prof: Who are you, really? You are just too perfect a shill.

Oh, and if you are serious, you clearly aren't that intelligent because you don't even understand you have a religion to and you don't understand that to change someone else's mind, you have to argue on their terms and not just with ad hominem varbiage.

Gagdad Bob said...

Regarding pretentious windbags -- Iowahawk's piece today is a must read. What a freaking genius:

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/

(You should first read the actual editorial he's satirizing.)

Anonymous said...

TP is a froll.

JWM

NoMo said...

tenured jester - That wasn't even a very good attempt. Although I do confess to some mild amusement.

If you actually mean what you say, I would just like to wish you well with that. You will find out sooner or later (hopefuly sooner). If you're wrong, yikes! If you're right, yikes! sounds like a lose-lose to me.

Anonymous said...

Hugh Hewitt had a great interview with the head of Hillsdale College a few days ago. He said there were 10 or so colleges in the US where you could get a true, traditional education. It's worth listening too (hughhewitt.townhall.com).

Gagdad Bob said...

Speaking of which -- I think "tenured prof" might actually be Iowahawk.

Anonymous said...

Yottle, please, stop with the "tenured professor" alias.

Anything to elevate yourself from your minor godhood. You can be just soooo petty.

And still you make my heart go pitty-patter.

Get outa here, you knucklehead, you.

Anonymous said...

One Cosmos Blog: Good leftist chum.

NoMo said...

Bob - If you meant "Cipher", I love it. If you meant "Cypher" I love it even more.

:o.

Anonymous said...

Let's see, there's very little to attack here today. The professor's rhetoric is essentially nonsense, making him a straw-man type of target rather than a real locus of contention.

I've complained about this before to Bob; if he does not select a worthy opponent, then it just sucks all the joy out of the ensuing dogfight. It's hard to even get one started.

I'll have to wait until tomorrow's clip, I guess. Let's hope it doesn't suck.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I am offended that none of you supposed intellectuals took my comments more seriously. Because the issues we are discussing are truly the most important problems of our time, perhaps in all of history.

I am a Humanities professor at one of the most renouned community colleges in Vermont, as well as a published author and playwrite. You have probably encountered my work at some point.

"The God of the Weak"
"Dehumanizing Humanity: The Christian Way"
"Man is Here: All Hail the Death of God"
"There is Nothing Right about The Religious Wrong"
"Practical Marxism for the Practical Post-Communist"

I have also worked with many academic elites including the great Richard Dawkins with whom you MUST be familiar.

Suffice it to say, my acheivments and resume are impecable.

Out of the goodness of my heart, I am here to share with you my wisdom, garnered through 20 years of intense study at the most presitious educational institutions in the world.

But I will not re-educate your puny misinformed minds unless I am given due respect. If you would like to expand your thinking outside your narrow conservative and religious box, I will gladly accomodate you.

But by all means, I won't stop you from huddling in your dank corner of prehistory.

Real education is only for those who want to learn with an open mind.

Anonymous said...

anugaland--

I will stipulate that someone sucked the joy out of you. That much is obvious. But it wasn't Bob.

Anonymous said...

River, your first poem is wonderful. Thanks for the smile.
:)

Will, is that you playin' around with different aliases? Christmas vacay started already?

And I've still got 4 more hours of work today. Then it's nothing but long hours of house work and cooking for the next 2 days. Hope to check in and wish all a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah.

Lisa said...

Bless your heart, tenured professor. I needed a good laugh. I was just telling my friend today before Bob's post that part of what makes America great is the fact that people can be as stupid as they want to be as long as they don't actively hurt anyone else! (ie. believing 9/11 was done by the gov., etc.,insert your own paranoid reality-escaping scenario here) It is my honor and privilege as an American to tolerate this stupidity and you have proven my point entirely!

Lisa said...

Joan-I have long accused Will of being the alter-ego of some of these kooks! It's good to know someone else sees the parallel! ha ha! New conspiracy!! He always denies it, though.

NoMo said...

Christmas Contest! Figure out the real identity of Tenured Jester. My guess is lukeblogwalker.

Anonymous said...

Lisa,

Anyone who knows anything will tell you that the American government is one of the most destructive and evil forces the world has ever seen. I would not put it past King Bush to have maasterminded the 9/11 attacks.

Just read Noam Chamsky, Howard Zinn or Michael Moore. The research is there.

Lisa, your projection is humorous at best. It is clearly I who am tolerating your stupidity. And as tolerant and forgiving as I am, I am losing my patience with this crowd of mindless sheep.

Anonymous said...

Once again, Uncle Overalls arises early to seed the enshrouded airport from his glistening dirigible so the fogbound can take off and SEE. It's so clear up there above the inversion! Who knew? Cue up the OC theme song...

The gentle hum of the dirigible above the fog does tend to annoy tenured professors however, who are trying to remain asleep an extra hour to dream of nubile coeds gamboling with hairy satyrs through imaginary sunlit forests.

PsychoP - I am still LMAO from last night. I hereby nominate you for the dual posts of President for Life of the OC Patent Office and Chief Commissioner for the Advancement of Spiritual Belly Dancing.

river - nice x4. I keep having to change the number before hitting 'publish'. :-)

As a survivor of a Christian liberal arts college, my advice is to be as careful there as with any other school. They are just as susceptible to the same diseases running through the secular campuses. I suspect Pareto's Principle applies to both, in that 20% of the professers are qualified to teach us how to think (not merely what), and do 80% of the lasting work. The others are just backfill.

I am sad to report that Mr. Oxyoxyoxyoxymoronic Humanitarian Published Renouned (sic) Vermont Playwrite's (sic) books are sadly out of print. Amazon is unable to locate any of them, after a long and arduous search. But the Onion has a backlog, so order while you can. They're in scroll format though, hanging from a small holder next to the commode. They may be slightly used, as well, so be sure to ask for a discount.

Anonymous said...

Tenured Professor said...

[blah blah blah, educational a-priori bullsh*t blah]

Way to try to insult people with your pompous bovine scatology.

If you are a professor, then how predictable. I've seen your type before, far too often. So sure of their a-priori German Scientism position. White washed with arrogance and stoked up with relativism.

Only the rational people don't consider God to be on the table of discussion. Only irrational people think there is a God.

Dude, how 20th Century Communist Party line can you get?

You've been in your ivory tower too long listening to yourself bloviate to students who don't know any better.

Your ego would not permit you to know the truth if it bit you in the buttcheeks.

I can't stand self righteous, supercillious cretins like you.

Its all about your little domain in your tenured world, stuffing igorant heads full of your doctrines of fairness, rightness and ethical thinking.

Then sitting back with like minded faculty members and waxing eloquent about the state of world affairs, and how if we'd all be like you, everything would be fine.

Makes me puke.

All the while not telling the students you've made it all up. Its the idea you'd like to see.

You sir, are a product of John Dewey's Progressive Educational system. How nauseating.

So tell us, Professor, what is your name and where are you tenured? What do you teach?

Lets hear it, toughguy.

-Luke the unimpressed.

Anonymous said...

Tenured College Instructor says..

"I am a Humanities professor at one of the most renouned community colleges in Vermont, as well as a published author and playwrite."

Humanities? That figures. Playwrite and author?

I can't stand Theater weenies.

Most community collges don't have "Professors" they have "Instructors" -no wonder you have an over inflated ego.

RE: Humanities Departments.

Read: The ProFessors by David Horowitz -nuff said about "Humanities" departments.

Your comments about GW only show what a complete stereotype you are. A leftie wanna-be important community college instructor.

Who feels do good about his writings and plays.

Pblffffftttt!

-Luke

Anonymous said...

Edumacate thyselves:

Both articles are part of today's masthead. So if you can't copy these, just go to:

http://www.frontpagemag.com

Identity Crisis in Higher Education

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=26110

Intellectual Diversity Unwelcome at American Universities

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=26062

Anonymous said...

I teach English and Performance Art at a prestigious community college in Northern Vermont. I am published and well respected in my fields.

And frankly, I am better educated and know a lot more than all of you put together. It just so happens that I am good enough to try and educate you. To elevate you to my level, the level of the academic elite.

In case there was any confusion about my position, I will clarify:

The fancy of God and soul is no more than a fanciful fantasy. It is the skeptics skepulating that checks the non-reasoning mythologizing of Fundamentalist religiousity. And I say religiousity because religion is only what comes from the mindset of religiousity when taken to the extremes of traditionalism and capitalism.

Now when the New Age of Reasoning and Scientific Positionalism became the transgenerational epi-paradigm, the stage was set for the anti-God meme to flourish in the intergenerational gap.

Even my weakest students are able to undesratnd this concept. It's not brain surgery folks.

After the movement away from the romantic, if not quite angry and misplaced mode of groupthink, we entered a new age devoid of mythological conceptualizing and the heavy-handed nature of non-rationalization quasi-contemplation.

This new era was wrought from the hands of the blind and given to the blind. Like the current corrupt and corruptable administration we now see in office.

But this is just the political area of anti-cultural parochail value mechanisms that hierarchilize and compartmentalize the multicultural and diversified components of historical socio-civilization.

Again, this is a concept that first year students easily grasp. And if you can't, it just bespeaks of your ignorance.

Anonymous said...

I know you think it's terribly humorous but would you please stop putting the "Magnet For A**holes" out, whoever you are? Thank you. I know my tedious request for economy of comment tags me as a bore. Consider this if you would, those of us for whom time is compressing exponentially, who truly wish to garner from the remarkable thought and people here, wonder about the cost and affordability of engagement through canine marking competition(read pissing contest). Dr. Godwin seems capable of do loop defense. Extraction of your addition is my humble desire not a tedious, torturous, excruciating burial alive by verbiage wasted on the vapid. Are you happy? Look what you've made me do ..... blah, blah, blah - the PC touching(read with dripping disdain)alarm demands my exit.

Anonymous said...

Luke-
TP said he was from a prestigious JUNIOR collera...in Bumont.
Or was that Toad Eyeland?
The place where they grow mole asses.

Anonymous said...

The Imam Scam and the Democrats House of Games

http://www.americanthinker.com/2006/12/the_imam_scam_and_the_democrat.html

ximeze said...

TP

How aptly named.

Never heard of you or your stuff.
But, those buddies of yours, I have heard of.

Somewhere, I'm pretty sure.

I, for one, am very, very concerned that you keep your patience with us.

Is Daddy Angry?

What must we do to get back in his good graces?

Oh Dear, Oh Dear!

Anonymous said...

prof,
you betray your stupidity doubly as Chomsky, Zinn, and Moore don't believe in the idea that the governement is behind the 9/11 attacks, as even that interferes with their mind parasites. They impose these parasites on every event or idea in front of them. http://www.foreignaffairs.org/19981101faessay1434/ashton-b-carter-john-deutch-philip-zelikow/catastrophic-terrorism-tackling-the-new-danger.html

Lisa said...

TP or should I say Will, Stop!! You are killing me...I am actually laughing out loud. Obviously you must be a teacher of dumbatic arts!!! Ha-freakin-larious!!!!

Anonymous said...

Tenured Professor,

You better watch out. Your aversion to religion will no doubt not bode well when President Bush ushers in the Christian theocracy we've all been hearing about.

Anonymous said...

"The fancy of God and soul is no more than a fanciful fantasy."

"The words of wise are heard in quiet more than the cry of him that ruleth among fools."

"Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.."

Humanities Department.

Nuff said.

Semper Fi

-Luke

Stephen Macdonald said...

Tenured Professor:

The notion that a simpleton like you can get tenure is simultaneously funny and depressing.

You're not worth responding to, but you do serve as an object lesson in the futility of sending kids to college these days.

To think I was once ignorant enough to respect fools like you.

Intellectual "elite", my ass. You're an overpaid, un-talented stuffed shirt who couldn't recognize a coherent idea if it was poured over your oatmeal.

Bah. Get lost, loser.

Anonymous said...

Joan, Lisa -

Nah, it's not me. Let me take a whack at it, however . . .

"It is not hatred I feel for you poor, ignorant, unsheared sheeple, no, hardly! That kind of turbulance is beneath me and would activate the ulcer I once attained through having to deal with the uneducated, the poor and unwashed.

I have learned patience. Educated patience, I might add. I have nothing but towering pity for the likes of you. This is why I humbly stand before the rows of you cornhusking, clodhopping, faith-inhaling rubes and offer nuggets, yea, pearls of ivy-vined wisdom.

But you must first drop this religious, spiritual, mama-Luuow-put-de-hex-on-you nonsense! I mean drop it like a 101 course on Animal Husbandry! Not that any of you would need it, you all probably are experts by now. But drop it like a spud that has suddenly, spontaneously self-immolated! Clear your minds of this medieval dreck! You want to be walking haystacks for the rest of your smaller than small lives?

I might mention that I have over ten volumes of poetry in print. Some of the titles include, WHITE AND INFINITE LINOLEUM, THE EYE OF THE RECTUM, and LOVE SONG OF THE SPOTTED OWL. Impressed? You should be. This is what a high-toned education did for me. And what it did for me, it can do for you. Well, maybe not quite as much for you as for me, but still considerably more than whatever passes for your current mental state of affairs.

Co-ed applications only. Send picture first, please. "

See, Joan and Lisa? I don't quite have the flair. What tenured prof is doing takes real talent.

Stephen Macdonald said...

Tenured Professor:

"I teach English and Performance Art at a prestigious community college in Northern Vermont. I am published and well respected in my fields."

Boy, you've really contributed to the welfare of humanity, huh?

I built an airline security firm from scratch that employs hundreds of people in well-paid jobs. More than 20 of my people have PhDs, and I have never, ever heard one of them sound like such a sheer dunce before (mostly because they are all scientists, mathematicians and engineers). Unlike malodorous pseudo-intellectual academics peddling 40 year old French hooey that even the French will no longer touch, my employees make a difference in the world by helping to ensure that your next airline trip ends uneventfully.

Again, all you have done here is make me far more convinced than ever that people like you are, as Bob says, completely full of shit. You can BS confused 18 year-olds and your "colleagues", but that's it.

Now, get lost. You contribute zero here. You are so very far beneath the level of discourse on this site that you have no idea what is even being said.

You are NOT EVEN WRONG.

Anonymous said...

There are no prestigious community colleges anywhere near Vermont. Even us idjits know that. As you point out, however, there are a lot of fields up there, as I can see right at this moment from 31,159 feet above ground via Google Earth. Although the image is fairly low-res, meaning that Vermont is not worthy of detailed satellite scanning any more than the Siberian wastelands, I see a herd of bovine creatures, one of which is emitting far more global-warming methane than the others.

Aha, spotted you. I will stick a voodoo googlepin in your arse so algore can find and deal with you later. Meanwhile, you may find it a little uncomfortable to sit for a few hours.

Lisa said...

Thanks for the translation Will. Even dummies like me can understand that!!! TP uses too many fancylike words, it boggles my lil mind. Do the pics have to be a full body shot or will a headshot do? Is there any extra credit? Hee hee!!!

What's truly amazing is that he has the balls to try his trite little schtick outside the academic setting in front of adults over 30. I bet he's already used up all the available 18 year-olds and can't wait for the summer!!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe TP got tired of the mole asses
in northern Vermont.

dicentra63 said...

Tenured Professor:

You are so totally busted. "Playwrite" indeed.

Your arguments were too coherent to be genuine. Take a few of those red pills behind the couch cushion and try again later. :D

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering, does Bob differentiate between (belief-based) exoteric religion and (contemplative/experience-based) esoteric religion, aka mysticism?

Taylor is a perfect example of the good/bad news of postmodernism (and how Bob seems to always miss the boat on the good news, seeing only the bad news). Taylor is calling for reason and rationality, for the deconstruction of beliefs (good news). Yet he is also seemingly throwing out any kind of post-rational religious or mystical experience (bad news).

Radish said...

BobbleHead said...
How about the hard sciences? Certainly religion never gets dissed in those kinds of classes.

Not as such, but I had a great physics professor who stood up on the first day of class and told us about how his scientific research deepened his faith and awareness of God, invited us to come talk with him about it at our convenience, and also invited us to the weekly physics department Bible study. I now regret that I never took advantage of the chance to talk with him about faith and science, but I've always admired that he gave us the invitation.

Probably helps that I was at a Lutheran school that took their position in American Lutheran society very seriously (unlike other private schools that reat their religious affiliation as an aside); I didn't have complete freedom from moonbattery and attempted indoctrination (I had 'theology' class where the main text was _The Color Purple_ and a Western history class taught by a woman who got pissed when I wrote that the U.S. Constitution was better than Marx), professors did not call students "misinformed and stupid" for believing in God--many of them were at Sunday services as lectors or in the faculty choir. It was a little odd the first time I accepted communion bread from my calculus professor, but ultimately a really good life experience I wouldn't have had at State U.

(I can't really report on what happened in the humanities departments since I took the bare minimum of humanities classes necessary to fulfill an engineering degree. So maybe the combination of hard science classes and the serious religious nature of the school would lead to a worthwhile post-secondary education. I'd rather see my niece and nephew apprenticed as plumbers or getting an 8-week welding certificate than see them go to State U and study philosophy.)

ximeze said...

Ok, that was fun.

I'm getting hungry again.

Who's for dinner?

Anonymous said...

Integralist:

I can assure you that Bob couldn't agree with you less. There is no "good news" of deconstruction -- an occasional, inadvertant stumbling upon a this or that relative truth notwithstanding. It is a horror, an assault on both reason and on the sacred, therefore on man.

Bob does not differentiate between so-called exoteric and esoteric religion, but unifies them. You will continue in your sterile intellectual quest until you do likewise and stop considering yourself superior to God's revelations and the faithful who understand and align themselves with their ascending winds of grace.

Anonymous said...

Does (almost) everyone here have to include some form on insult in their response to me, or anyone who disagrees?

This place has some beginning signs of cultism (You're either with us or against us!)...or as "Anonymous" quite laughably said in the previous post, "You are just plain wrong. And until you accept that, there is no ground common ground to start from."

Anonymous said...

Integralist--

You said you weren't a leftist, so stop posing as the pathetic victim. Criticizing you is not insulting you. You were the one who referred to Bob a cult leader and readers as "goons" from the outset.

Anonymous said...

integralist said...

"Does (almost) everyone here have to include some form on insult in their response to me, or anyone who disagrees?"

Sorry, not playing anymore.

You obviously are more about games than truth.

You also obviously missed the snide, insulting undercurrent from the ostensible "Tenured Professor"

-which only means we can't fire lousy teachers.

Of course some first year student is going to buy the lofty "paradigm" presented by our tenured friend.

They have no perspective, have no history taught to them, and are in an envelope of relativism.

Doh!

(No thanks, John Dewey)

It insults me, that our dear Tenured friend thinks I am so stupid, that waving supposed credentials around, making typical bogus college instructor statements, and tossing in arrogance, is supposed to add weight to a weak and well worn out philosophy of stupidity and error.

Which said philosophy, in its variations, killed millions of people in the 20th Century.

And you, dear novice, insult me with your constant penchant for attention and rhetoric, rather than honest inquiry.

For you, and the "Tenured Professor" , in the words of that great philosopher, Jeff Foxworthy,

-here is your sign.

-Luke

Anonymous said...

Does (almost) everyone here have to include some form of humor and wit in their response to Integralist, or to anyone who disagrees? Because it always seems to elude them.

Anonymous said...

Integralist-
Why integrate a victim mentality?
Of what value is it?

Cultish? LOL! More like sour grapes.

Anonymous said...

Well Col. Blowhole, maybe you should take a crack at it?

I poked around the web and found this..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middlebury_College

It could explain a lot!

;)

-Luke

Anonymous said...

Col.-

No.
We don't have to.

Just for humor's sake, on my part.

That, and stand-up cosmology.

Complete with applause of course.

Hello?

Is it closing time already?

I'm not cleaning this place for a paltry 9 bucks an hour!

What kind of cult is this anyway?

Anonymous said...

When does that theocracy thing start?

We need to "re-educate" these clowns.

It's time for a polkabotomy or two! Heh!

Gecko said...

A dangerous site
Oh ye Cosmic Cultists, the said Tenured Prof doth speak a language I comprehend not though I humbly agree with our Cosmic Cult Leader that it might be that mighty genius Iowahawk. Or, it could be our esteemed cult leader having even more fun in all the spare time he is sure to have right about now.

ximeze said...

Oh, man, not Inter AGAIN!

Can't we get more variety in our diet?

My Humanities Teacher, a noteble scholar & writer of great reknown, who thus knows all about nutrition, says: more fruits & vegetables!

I really tend more toward meat myself, but I'm told,
by That Worthy One, that fiber is
very important in regulating elimination & keeping the body healthful.

We had that last night!

Leftovers are all very well, if you're starving, but we already chewed it well & got everything of value out of it, and it doesn't taste like much anymore.

Pleeeze, can't we have something else?

Anonymous said...

I think that the first post by tenured professor *may* have been real but all the rest must be send-ups.

Tenured leftists don't have the (not so) subtle sense of irony of the subsequent posts.

Anonymous said...

"The God of the Weak"
"Dehumanizing Humanity: The Christian Way"
"Man is Here: All Hail the Death of God"
"There is Nothing Right about The Religious Wrong"
"Practical Marxism for the Practical Post-Communist"

TP is just too perfect. ROFL I suspect he is Petey searchng for a self-publisher. Or, it might be Horowitz pulling our hooves, as he knows this stuff only too well.

Anonymous said...

Give me one reason why I should listen to you bunch of God-lovers.

What's He ever done for you? Are you happy? Have you ever published a book? Have you ever put a cute coed over your knee and spanked her bare cheeks?

How many plays have you written? Huh? Huh?

OK then.

ximeze said...

Hey Ben,

Does Oscar Von Spock knew there's a Beagle sniffin around in his territory?

Better get him out here to do his duty in marking it!

'course, it's a pretty dull Beagle, even with all those initials & the rank and all. Likely not much fun to play with.

Perhaps we could get Fergus interested? You know, bat it around for a while, til it doesn't want to play anymore. Cats are really good at that.

Naw, likely a nap is more alluring.

Anonymous said...

Will said: "I have nothing but towering pity for the likes of you. This is why I humbly stand before the rows of you cornhusking, clodhopping, faith-inhaling rubes and offer nuggets, yea, pearls of ivy-vined wisdom."

*Making a mental note to never, ever, cross the path of Will's disdain.*

If only TP coulda rounded up some pithy adjectives for his invectives like unto the ones Will has so thoughtfully provided for all the trolls!

****

And Ximeze is doing yoeman's work here today: "Can't we get more variety in our diet?"

Exactly. Integralist is like the relative who always brings the same Claxton fruit cake every Christmas. Not the same brand, the same cake. Nobody every eats it, so he figures it's good for another go-round.

Van Harvey said...

Cousin DuPree said... "I would have attended a "great books" program. I eventually did familiarize myself with those foundational texts of western civilization,"

That's what I've (virtually) been doing the last couple decades. The instructors (authors) are way better (beer's a little flat though)

Van Harvey said...

Tenured Boob said ... "Academia is the last and only hope for human kind."

One could confidently say that about true Education. One would have a bit more difficulty saying where they could find such an Education. One would have no problem saying Academia is capable of providing such an Education - there are so few ways you can manage to give yourself a deep belly laugh, few could pass it up.

Try it... ah me, difficult to type while laughing so hard... oh thanks for tip, that was good.

"Only the intellectual elite can solve the world's problems and bring justice and peace and prosperity to the masses."

Parody, surely?

Anonymous said...

Ximeze-
That wasn't a beagle...

It was a jackanape.

Good thing Oscar was sleeping.

Cuz Dupree jacked him up though!

Anonymous said...

For a good college education, I highly recommend the Naval academy or West Point.

True, I'm biased, but they are still superb schools with excellent teachers, and an invigorating physical fitness program.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, well, counselling of young coeds who have been sexually abused by college professors who post them on their literary websites is a booming business in Vermont!

What has God done? Plenty.

My favorite that I was there for recently, was my friend Dominic.

Dominic took every drug in the book, and had drug induced psychosis. (I will leave out all the details)

One night, the pastor asked him to step forward for prayer. After said prayer, Dominic was, as they said of the demon possessed man of the Gaderenes, "..in his right mind.."

He has ever since been, and is to this day, a very happy and "normal" individual.

Go figure.

-Luke

PS -go read my blog on the historical evidences of the resurrection. Its only outline notes, but even a tenured professor could figure it out.

PPS - Ben, what about VMI? Or us AMU grads? huh? huh?

Anonymous said...

Joan, folks . . . Tenured Prof is obviously a put-on, having fun and entertaining us by playing a human pinada.

Whoops, gave it away.

But that really is some serious talent there, mastered all the buzz words. Wow, maybe it IS Iowahawk. Who lives in Chicago, by the way. Same as me.

Stephen Macdonald said...

will:

Shh!

You'll spoil the fun!

Plus, even if he is a prankster (you're almost certainly right since NOBODY could be that disconnected from reality) he serves as good practice for dealing with real moonbats.

Van Harvey said...

Tenured Professor said... "And frankly, I am better educated and know a lot more than all of you put together. It just so happens that I am good enough to try and educate you. To elevate you to my level, the level of the academic elite."

Was BaconBoy one of your star pupils?

:-)

Van Harvey said...

tenured professor(tee-hee)..." It is the skeptics skepulating that checks the non-reasoning mythologizing of Fundamentalist religiousity. And I say religiousity because religion is only what comes from the mindset of religiousity when taken to the extremes of traditionalism and capitalism.
"

My money's on Cousin GagDuPetey...

Van Harvey said...

GLASR said...
"I know you think it's terribly humorous but would you please stop putting the "Magnet For A**holes" out, whoever you are? Thank you. I know my tedious request for economy of comment tags me as a bore....of your addition is my humble desire not a tedious, torturous, excruciating burial alive by verbiage wasted on the vapid..."

Glasr, you may already know, but if not - if you click on the "said..." after a commenter's name, it collapses their comment.

Presto-dissapear-o

Anonymous said...

I am a real troll, not a faux professor target drone, and I'm indeed hovering overhead waiting for a topic that I can sink my teeth into.

Fear not, the opposition has not left the field, and indeed he never sleeps.

Anonymous said...

A topic greater than the entire cosmos?

That leaves only the Creator.

You must feel lucky.

Go ahead. Draw.

Anonymous said...

VAN: Hey Great Idea? - Maybe you could offer us a section on your Blog not only of Highly Recommended Reading but structure a reading/study list that is progressive or arranged Topically? It would give people a bit of structure to follow & Book List to Buy from, refer to friends, generate traffic to your blog, etc. Call it "Great Books by Topic" or sumfink more creative. I'd love that! I've never read Bastiat but you quote him so much I'm interested to read him now.

Okay. So, I get in the Cab today, to do my Princess Shopping. Cabbie Dude fancies himself a Smart man. Scans me up n down, has that "Interested" look on his face. Lots of Eye contact. Had that "Well now, I gotta Princess in dah car with me...I think quite highly of myself cuz I'm All Dat!" Tilts his jaw out. Bad sign. He asks lotta questions to the Princess, wanted to impress her, wanted to get to know Her Highness.

We start chattin about what I do for a living & it turns to God & the Bible. RIGHT AWAY - "INCOMING -- BULL APPROACHING" ALERT GOES OFF!! Am so sick of it. I didnt know I was gonna grow up to be a Toreador! Bullring, Boxing Ring, Church Ring, Cab Car - not much difference, still same ole bull I encounter at each.

Mr. Bullhead Cabbie shuttles me around town for my errands, driving slow, Chattin me up. He *THINKS* cuz "we talked for real" hes gonna get the Princess' Phone numbah & ask Her for a date. Princess is 12 steps ahead of him, Locked & Loaded before he even notices the red laserdot parked on his beaner for the last 15 mins. He actually had the nerve to "ask" about My INTIMATE Friends! AS IF I'd drop the Dime & tell a lip-smackin Troll anything! Thus he "spoke" with the little head, too. (I confess, I briefly thot of tellin him "I'm a Lesbian" but HolySpirit reminded me not to Lie.)

Yunno them Bucks, not too Smart when Brite Lite shines in their eyes.

With Infinite Mercy, I smiled Sweetly, caught his eye, than I pulled the Trigger: "Yunno, The minute you told me that WE can interpret the Bible how WE want, AND that WE are born intrinsically Good...and then you inquired about my sex life in that smoove move style you've honed, You completely Lost any slight advantage you had of being mildly interesting."

Chagrined & pained, he said, "Owww, C'mon now, Sweetie dont be like THAT!" Princess said: "Yunno, Men have 3 kinds of Heads: (the "here we go" pained expression crossed his face.) (1) The little one - yunno what its called. (2) The one centered on God, or self - Humblehead or Phathead. (3) And the one you sit on & talk with (Butthead.) You just spoke outta Two of them, but unfortunately for you, they arent the ones I wanted to hear from. The one you did speak from first was mildly interesting, its just a Damned Shame that one is seriously spiritually retarded...and I'm just NOT in the habit of dating Trolls!"

Dejected, he turned away with that Constipated look on his face, he said, "Girl, thats COLD! Thats Mean! Why You gotta be like that? I'm a Good man..." I said, "The Princess doesnt want a 'good man.' She wants a Spiritually Alive Aware Humble Intelligent Integrated Man - BIG difference between a Knight and a Troll - I'll leave You to guess which one YOU are...HINT: The Knight gets the Girl. The Troll gets..." Princess Promptly got outta the cab & slammed the door! DiNada! Rien! Ugh!

I just Dunno what came over me! (Shrugs, innocent look, palms up, pocket her 9mm) :D

Princess has LOTS of Troll-Trophies on the wall in her Rogues Gallery, she doesnt need any more,..unless hes volunteering for Target Practice...

TP = Tenured Prof = Target Practice! Wiping Practice too.

Another One bites the Dust, Sick with Spiritual-Narcissism & the Self-as-god Grand Delusion." Like HOW is THAT ATTRACTIVE?? Right. Not! Man, how widespread IS This Spiritual Leprosy? Pan-freakin-demic!!

To recover from my Cab Ordeal, the horror of the Bloodshed, HAD to come here right away & read up on Y'alls Day - I see you've been havin fun while Princess was away!

LUKE: OMG!! Col.Blowhole!! ROFL! Heres a Bucket for your Barf! Even your Father could chew TP up for dinner easily! Great Job!

COSA/HITMAN: New Nix are in order: PapaDoc w/His Google Voodoo = GOOGOODOO for short. DAH TERMINATAH!! You BLEW TP away utterly! That image of Ahrnold in leather flashed in my mind, as hes walking in the back hallway of the mall, pulls out his GUN from the Rose box & proceeds to blast the crap outta the Other one.

RIVER-C: Very Nice Poems! I dub thee THE POET OF OneCosmos.

WILL, VAN, LUKE, USSBEN, everyone - THANK YOU for the Bellybuster Laffs!

COSANOSTRA: Thanks for the Nominations for President & Commissioner - I humbly accept the Nominations & would be honored to serve The OC...

Speaking of Bellydancing, My friend was in a BD Troupe & taught me for 2 yrs when we used to do Medieval campouts. Great exercise & teaches you ALOT about Balance. She MADE me learn to Bellydance w/a Sword balanced on my head! Dang had to take off the Tiara.

Yeah, TP. We Be A "Dangerous Blogsite. Dangerous Minds Found Within." Professor PsychoWeenie oh so Edumecated couldn't even spell his Beloved Chamsky correctly.

ALAN: Thanks heaps for the Hugh Hewitt heads up! Will listen to him later this evening. Love Hugh! Read him alot on NewsMax site.

COUSIN DUPREE & HOARHEY: MIB - MEN IN BLACK. THE BOUNCERS OF OC.

TP: I suggest you make good use of your "pedigreed papers" and either line the catbox with them or use them to wipe your ass-ets!"

~ PsychoPrincess ~

Anonymous said...

Ooops, that TERMINATAH designation goes to WILL! Sowwy Cosa, you're still the Hitman of OC though! :D

- P2 -

Van Harvey said...

Luke Blogwalker said... "Humanities? That figures. Playwrite and author? I can't stand Theater weenies."

Radish said... "(I can't really report on what happened in the humanities departments since I took the bare minimum of humanities classes necessary to fulfill an engineering degree..."

Though these statements and more tragically reflect the reality of today, it's worth mentioning and reflecting on the fact that in the time of the Founding Fathers, to go to College MEANT to study the Humanities - Homer, Plato, Aristotle, Aeschylus, Herodotus, Thucydides, Sophocles, Euripides, Plutarch, Cicero, Virgil, Tacitus, Marcus Aurielius, Augustine, Aquinas, The Bible, Montesquieu & Montaigne (Montaigne would have SO loved blogging!)... and of course Euclid, Ptolemy, Copernicus, Bacon and Newton.

To claim to be an Educated person among the Founders, was to be educated in these works of the Humanities - but the idea of an Education has been grotesquely twisted since the Hegelian's got their lab coats on it. As a young child you were drilled in the basics, and memorization but Education took place in orally debating concepts, precepts, propositions taken from these texts - merely memorizing the material or studying the psychology of test taking would have marked you as a congenital idiot.

You had to learn and thoroughly understand the material, the concepts - pro and con and demonstrate that fact. In place of football games they had tag team debates - the subjects would be nailed up in the Hall prior to the event, and students would compete for honors... and those who comprehended the material (“comprehend :to embrace, encompass…”) would receive them. It was in this way that the Founders of America were formed - in what has taken its place has the mettle of the Founders been lost.

Scoff at the 'Humanities' now, sure - it so deserves it, but recall that what masquerades in it's place is but gangrenous monster which would have frightened Frankenstein’s monster to its longed for death.

We don’t need these charlatans to teach us this material, if anything, they need us to teach them. There are still some colleges out there who attempt a real education – as mentioned, Hillsdale, also St. Johns (New Mexico & Annapolis), and other’s – if kids are college bound, its up to us as parents to not only direct our children & money to the real deals, but to publicly ridicule and scoff at the frauds pretending to wisdom - otherwise the counterfeit “diploma’s” will continue to be passed.

Anonymous said...

P-Princess,

Do you happen to be:

1) single?
2) living within 25 miles of New York City?
3) under the age of the 35?
4) interested in meeting a spiritually alive aware humble intelligent integrated man? (most of the time, anyway)

Van Harvey said...

Cosanostradamus said... "Aha, spotted you. I will stick a voodoo googlepin in your arse so algore can find and deal with you later."

LOL!!!

Van Harvey said...

integralist said... "Does (almost) everyone here have to include some form on insult in their response to me, or anyone who disagrees?"

There have been no insults from me since you ceased... however there has also been nothing of substance from you, other than your alarm at our lack of substance, and your assertions that we need to think more like you.

Straight forwardly put your ideas out there, and I can assure that some will give them due consideration - nearly certainly be revolted by them, and bluntly make that plain, but also give the Reasons why (or at least point you to where we have already done so in the past).

If your game, and can can the condecension (ok, a mild barb), then lets go.

"This place has some beginning signs of cultism "

I hope that's beneath you. Prove it.

Van Harvey said...

Joan of Argghh!!! Said... "... always brings the same Claxton fruit cake every Christmas. Not the same brand, the same cake..."

Talk about descriptive!

Ximeze, eating THAT ought to provide some fiber! ;-)

Van Harvey said...

Real Troll said...
"waiting for a topic that I can sink my teeth into. Fear not, the opposition has not left the field, and indeed he never sleeps. "

Hmm. Sounds like gum disease.

Van Harvey said...

PsychoPrincess said..."VAN: Hey Great Idea? - Maybe you could offer us a section on your Blog not only of Highly Recommended Reading but structure a reading/study list that is progressive or arranged Topically? It would give people a bit of structure to follow & Book List to Buy from, refer to friends, generate traffic to your blog, etc. Call it "Great Books by Topic" or sumfink more creative. I'd love that! I've never read Bastiat but you quote him so much I'm interested to read him now."

You have no idea how much I'd love to do that (note the subtitle of my Blog), especially in Blog format - difficult to get all the vitamins & fiber (Ximeze!) out of chewing the text without alternate and opposing views (preferably with some heat and spice - not for the faint of heart) to get the digestive juices roiling.

It's been a plan of mine for awhile... however sleeping has been too....

Soonday.

Anonymous said...

PsyPrincess, honestly, I wasn't attempting to bury the Tenured Prof, but praise him for his worthy charade. If anyone gets credit for lampooning PC, jargon-spouting, soul-dead, higher education golems, it should be the T.P.

T.P., wherever you are in the American night, whoever you are - I salute thee.

Oh, by the way, Princess, that cab driver . . .that was me. Ha, small world, what?

Hey?

Van Harvey said...

Think of Bastiat as a kind of 19th century version of Thomas Sowell & Walter Williams in one - but with cooler clothes.

Anonymous said...

I haven't had much to add to the fun for a while; I've sort of been in spectator mode. But the joint is jumpin'! I have to nominate Tenured Prof. as the best troll ever. Integral is actually pretty good, too.

I just think it's a credit to Bob, and the site in general to have quality trolls.

Merry Christmas.

JWM

Anonymous said...

Ah, it's 10:43 on the East Coast and I've been telling ghost stories in the rain to soggy tourists. But this is almost as fun. I wish I could stay up and keep the crazy cultists company.

Merry Cosmos to All!

Blessed Christmas to most!

Happy Hanukkah to the Chosen Ones!

Van Harvey said...

Smoov said... "I built an airline security firm from scratch that employs hundreds of people in well-paid jobs."

Outstanding!

Anonymous said...

Bob,

Mostly, how could someone like you, mostly, interested in thuh truth, mostly, permit such mean guys to post on your blog?

I've studied humanities under Professor Tenure for 8 semesters my freshman year, fer shure, and he is like wow! just thuh most wonderful professor there is.

After class, fer shure, if I am a bitchin' chick, man, he takes me to his office upstairs in thuh theatre, mostly, he calls it our clubhouse, like, for some extra credit work.

That dude is so kind and thoughtful, mostly, he knows I have ADD and can't always understand everythin' he says. So he drills it into me in our private clubhouse.

If I don't understand that dude right away, like, wow, he turns me over his knee and spanks me! Oh, wow! Just like daddy used to do!

That dude is such a awesum Professor! I don't see why all of you don't study how to hate that evil George Bush, like, and embrace savin' thuh planet thuh way Al Gore says we should! Gag me with a pitchfork!

Oh, fer shure, I have to go, like, wow, Professor says I've been a super mean chick today! Gag me with a pitchfork!

Professor says if I am a totally mean chick, oh, baby, he might have to give me thuh part of thuh bad chick in his next major play, man, "Fear and Loathin' in Academia". He sure likes to play.

That dude says he wants all thuh girls in my class to play with him.

Kiss kiss, Bye!

Svetlana

Anonymous said...

I weawwy don't think that young impwessionabwe giwws shouwd be subjected to Tenuwed Pwofessows wike that.

How do we know that they awe twustwowthy and what they teach is twue? It sounds to me wike we have a vewy big pwobwem hewe.

Van Harvey said...

Taylor from the column Gagdad ref'd said... "For years, I have begun my classes by telling students that if they are not more confused and uncertain at the end of the course than they were at the beginning, I will have failed."

This is the kind of cranial filth being splattered on our kids in 'college' classes, not by the worst, but those the bulk of Professors aspire to emulate.

He isn't looking to Identify, Integrate and Educate the young - to teach them that there "is more in heaven and earth that has been dreamt of in your philosophy..." (My apologies to the other Will), to realize the endless possibilities and frontiers a solid foundation lays open before you; no he considers it his GOAL to leave them confused, unsure and most importantly unable to even seek, let alone find any answers. In fact his whole intent is to teach them that answers qua answers are unattainable and illusary (Integralist, this is what you seem to come in here wearing - do you intend to defend or shed such garb?) - and unworthy of being accepted.

m.a.k.e.s. m.y. b.l.o.o.d. b.o.i.l.

Van Harvey said...

100!
(silly, yes, but fun)

Anonymous said...

I took a class from Mr. Tenure. It was called, uh uh uh uh, "De Marxist Innerpretashun of Baroke Art" 'n it was a great class wid lots of coot girls like Sbetlana! Doihh, COOL!

Anonymous said...

....... the words ...... the words ..

Bob's Blog said...

I think your dad was a lot like you. I never fail to get a smile on my face while reading this blog.

Anonymous said...

I saw it from the very first post. Why didn't anyone else? Completely astounding!

"Tenured professor" is "Liberal Larry" Chomstein from the hilarious pardoy blog BLAME BUSH.
http://blamebush.typepad.com/

Gecko said...

Geeze, 104 comments, I m compelled to say that my perfect Pilates inner core aches rotfl so hard. Merry Christmas and thanks bob(and Leslie).

Anonymous said...

Another vote here for Iowahawk as today's mystery parodist. He has such a good ear for the Left's overwrought, too-clever-by-half locutions. TP's finest moment was this corny metaphor:

""But religion is the fodder for the cannon of conformity and stupidity, shot at the masses from the pseudo-high-horse of false faith.""

Several problems here, not the least being that a horse has got to have mighty stout legs if he's going to have cannons fired from his back.

BTW, has anyone heard of Arundhati Roy? She's the reigning queen of bad leftist metaphor and as a result is very popular with the moonbats.

Here's just one jem pulled from a piece she wrote a few years ago, back when the Left was upset about the liberation of Afghanistan:

""And what of the rest of us, the numb recipients of this onslaught of what we know to be preposterous propaganda? The daily consumers of the lies and brutality smeared in peanut butter and strawberry jam being air-dropped into our minds just like those yellow food packets.""

Pretty wild, huh? Peanut butter covered propaganda. Sometimes its best just to get out of the way and let the Left parody itself.

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable, how supposedly mature adults can stoop to such low levels as do you people on this blog. It often makes me wonder as to who is being trotted out as worthy in this society. People of genuine genius are scoffed at as am I here.
I look at the likes of men with limited vision like Bobby and even Ken Wilber and ask myself, how can these individuals develop the followings they have and also have their interviews published in publications like WIE magazine. It seems there is no justice in the world and my hope for humankind diminishes with each day that passes, where men of true genius are brushed away like so much dandruff.
I pity the fools.

PrincessSpirit said...

SMOOV: Way to go on building your airline security company! Smoov gets a new nic:

SMOOV = AIRMARSHAL + AIR BUD !

Hehehehe I might have to hire you for security reasons when Princess Enterprises goes airborne!

Meanwhile, Princess keeps her Tiara & feet on the ground by taking the train alot. She hasnt yet learned to integrate AIRBUS travel with her stomach very successfully yet!

Not a bad idea to build a Train Security Company too, eh? :D

- PsychoPrincess -

PrincessSpirit said...

TP Said:..."But religion is the fodder for the cannon of conformity and stupidity, shot at the masses from the pseudo-high-horse of false faith."

Gee sounds like a rewording of Marx:..."Religion is the opiate of he masses."

TPs is not even 1/2 as creative, with none of the originality of the original.

Atheists, no sense of humor.

For a good laugh, go to this site and participate in the re-education of Christopher Hutchins, author of the book "God is Not Great" - which basically asserts that the 3 great monotheistic religions of Christianity, Judaism and Islam only offer evil to the world, therefore are the real "root of all evil."

Yeah, right. "Atheism, good. All else, bad." Puhhhlease.

I'll spare you my usual response for Grande Stoopidity. It speaks enuf for itself.

- PsychoPrincess -

PrincessSpirit said...

NOMO/MR MIYAGI:...I'm glad you escaped the Sandbox, Brother!

But..er...um...I've been wonderin - you didnt escape one Great Pit only to fall into a different one, did you? The CalvinISM one, perhaps?

(Holds Nomos shoulders, in a Sisterly-friendly plea for reasonable discussion, looks at him sincerely, gently.) Please say it isnt so, Bro?

If its true, well, it does happen. Can you & I at least discuss the merits + demerits of Calvinism, to compare & contrast with other Theologies at least? Sometime perhaps? Not to convert you to any particular Theology (indeed, I support none of the current ones 100%) but to encourage You in Your Spiritual Journey, to stimulate Theological Critical & Evaluative Thinking and delineate other viable choices, perhaps?

Its like saying, "There ARE other kewl flavors of Ice Cream besides Cookie Dough, yunno?" If you're not into it, I understand, just thought I'd put it on the table and share my ice cream with yah!! ;)

Thank God you made it out of the Sandbox and found your way here - Someone's been watching over You, Bro! :D

TO ALL BOBBLEHEADS:

Princess would love to hear Everyones story of "HOW I FIRST CAME TO FIND OR WAS LED TO FIND GAGDAD BOB AND THE ONECOSMOS SITE?"

How DID the Raccoon Lodge get started anyway? Hmmmm...do I smell an ex-Boy Scout or CubScout (or 2) behind that theme?!

- PsychoPrincess -

PS:"Now, where in the Castle DID I hide those GirlScout Samoa Cookies??"

PrincessSpirit said...

Egads, I just saw the news:

A Suitor Doth Speaketh!!

Ahem. (Straightens her Tiara, Smoothes out her Gown.)

Greetings, Sir Hunter! Welcome to the Realm of the One Cosmos! Our Overlord is one named Sir Gagdad-Bob, but I'm sure if Thou art travelling in these parts, Thou art most familiar with Master Gagdad's works, yes? His reknowned reputation surely preceedeth him!

Art Thou a Pilgrim and Regular Visitor to the OC Castle? Or a Traveller stopping in for shelter & sustenance, seeking respite from the mindless Barbarian hordes, as Thou dost pursueth Thy Journey on The Spiritual Integralist Quest?

(She motions to Her Valet, standing nearby.) "Master Ruppert, kindly show our BraveKnight into the Princess' Library, where He mayest warm Himself by the Fire, as He waits for the 7 course Feast?

Master Ruppert bows eloquently, motions to Sir Knight to follow him: "This waaaay, Sir Knight..." and leads Sir Knight into the Library for his Entrance / Exit interview w/Her Royal Highness:

Sir Knight takes a comfy seat by the Fire as the Princess hands him a glass of whatever bubbley warms his heart.

"In Answer to Your Questions, Sir Knight:

1) Single Princess? : Affirmative.

2) Castle within 25mi of NYC? : Afraid Not, but I do reside on the East Coast fairly close to NYC (for now, anyway.)

Father says I shall be moving to Colorado or the West Coast within a year in order to attend a better Seminary, more than likely, if applications goeth thrueth.

3) Under age of 35? : Since Princess IS of the Elven persuasion, her age is accorded different than Human years. Being only 770 in Elf years, She is young enuf, but certainly not green behind Her delicately pointed ears, either! Its within the range you speak.

4) Interested in meeting a Knight? : Why, Princess per Protocol are never allowed to turn down an introduction to Royalty (altho She wishes so many of Them were not so tres boring).

HRH graciously offers a Gaillard or a Pavane or two - Shes a True Princess of the People, after all, not wicked or wily; yet She doth carryeth a 9mm on Her person at all times since Wolves do tend to follow Her about so, and as Her Beloved Brothers + Count Dupree are often away Hunting Orcses, managing their Principalities & having at War Games in other parts of the Cosmos Kingdom.

Now, if it doth please Thee, Sir Knight, having answered Thy Questions, Princess hath a Few Questions to ask of Thee, Sir Hunter:

1) Art Thou a True Christian? (vs Counterfeit ones who Art so tedious?) Know This, Though: If Ye Be A Troll-in-Sheeps-Clothing, The Princess' wrath shall quickly be visited upon Thee as She Is An Accomplished Troll-Hunter! Her Father the King hath taught Her to Hunt well & Her name meaneth "Arrow Striking The Heart of the Enemy.")

2) Dost Thou Submit self (Repent), Practice Accountability, inner and outer Knightly Virtues of thine own volition (at least most of the time w/o thine friends having to remindeth Thee?)

3) What Thinkest Thee on G-Bobs Verticality Principles and Integralism?

4) Dost Thou have any fondness for Christian Psych, Theological Studies, Luther and LOTR? Dost Thou cherish the reading of Books & to discusseth Kingdom matters when Thou art not Crusading? What Art Thy Favorite Subjects of Interest?

(WARNING: If Thou Asketh the Foul Question: "WHAT IS LOTR?" Thine interview Shall Endeth Promptly, as Thou shalt be immediately disqualified on the grounds of having the Black Plague of Stoopidity. The only plausable exception is if Thou hast been away on Crusade in The Holy Land, then such an atrocious lack is, perhaps, forgivable - but Walk Ye Softly!)

5) Whilst Thou Vow to send Samoa Girl Scout Cookie Shipments on a regular basis, in Tribute to The Princess?

NOTE: Such a Vow WILL Guarantee An Immediate Audience with Her Highness in Future Visits - no waiting in the usual Princess Tribute Line required.

6) Thy Purpose in the One Cosmos Kingdom is...?

Now that Ye Hath The Daughter of the King's attention upon Thee...What Words Whilst Thou Speaketh to Her?

She Leaneth Forward, Silent, Smiling at Thee, Interested, Listening...

...To be Continued...One Hopes...

~ HRH PsychoPrincess ~

PrincessSpirit said...

TP said..."...but only if we can stop the noxious thought that you give voice to on this blog..."

ROTF + LMTO!!! (Laff my Tiara off!)

Oh So "edumecated" Professor Joker FORGETS we are ALL guaranteed the right to Freedom of Speech?? His brain plaque must be in overdrive in its advanced stages now.

You reveal Yourself not only for the Obnoxious Braindead Arrogant Spiritually Comatose Cranium Condition you suffer from, but for the Stalinitsky-Commie you are, too!

NOTE: Revealing ones hand too soon as you've done is always the mark of the infantile and immature, guaranteed to not even be interesting in a game of cards.

We dont take candy from PsychoBabies not yet even out of diapers having an IQ under 70!

You and your retardo-ilk shall never silence the Gagdad, nor this "noxious" ideology of Integralism any of us support. Thanks for the LAFFS!!

If you were "tenured" at any Respectable college, You'd be fired for having too many brain-farts in one day!

- PsychoPrincess -

Van Harvey said...

integralist said...
"It often makes me wonder as to who is being trotted out as worthy in this society. People of genuine genius are scoffed at as am I here."

Ok, hmm... surely this is in the spirit of TP Parody... the question is, Self Parody or a Handle Swiping prankster?

Anonymous said...

INTEGRALIST: Pardon me, but this needs to be addressed:

1. If you are such a "genius" why is it You simply refuse to figure out the necessity & value of losing your Arrogance and Narcissism since it stands as barriers between you and many friendships?

2. Are you THIS MUCH Blind to the fact that Your Arrogance wins you no friends here, precious little admiration, no audiences and certainly creates unnecessary enemies - or at least widens the gap away from those who might otherwise be your friend?

3. What "good" then, does your Arrogance accomplish for you? Where is the Genius in chronically choosing a trait thats abusive, unhealthy & detrimental to your self & others?

Victimology, Arrogance + Narcissism, often bosom buddies, are negative unvirtuous qualities you've evidenced here repeatedly - not your best side. You've evidenced good qualities at times, but they pale in comparison to the intensity you've given these negative ones.

Seems to me that sometimes, when people "announce" something as loudly about self+genius as you have, then perhaps they really wish to be freed of it instead?

When these traits fail to gain you an audience, as they are bound to do, the are not admirable qualities that win friends to ones side, THEN you next chose to play "Victim" and complain & Blame - oddly enough, you BLAME your choices on others instead of facing the Reality that others are not responsible for your choice to be Arrogant, Narcissistic and a Victim.

Perhaps you do not realize it, but you are a Victim of your own self.

Narcissism victimizes YOU as well as abuses others. Is it any wonder, then, that you do not achieve the goals you seek?

This Be Genius?

When you speak this way it likely turns off true Genius' here from wanting to get to know you much. Thus you find chilly exchanges going on towards you that are not very warm.

Why would anyone here - many who are TRUE Genius' & have already gained significant maturity in keeping their own arrogance/ego under MUCH better control than You evidence - why would they choose to tolerate this kind of shabby treatment from you, then? Why would they be your friend only to abused by your arrogant genuius?

You demand trust; yet you offer untrustworthy qualities and dubious claims. You ignore your own Reality, hence you will not be too enabled to understand the ones we share and come from. And in the realization of that truth, I felt compassion for you, and made the choice to write this to you.

You'll be much happier & healthier when you finally decide to face & deal with the reality of your inner problems, narcissism, arrogance, victimology, etc. as any of us become more mature people when we learn to handle similar traits appropriately.

I suspect until you pay better attention to your internal healthiness (or ill-health of self), you will not be able to externally understand or apply alot of what we are speaking of - becuz much of what we discuss about Integralism has to do with Virtue & Spiritual Development & Maturation of your inner qualities so they rise above ones own negative traits.

If You continue in your Arrogance, it is certainly your choice...Choices are Wise or Unwise. As its your choice, then I encourage you to take a Modicum of Mature Responsibility to willingly suffer the appropriate consequences of Your Choice You Make. At least you'll stop Projecting and blaming others from ye olde Victim-perspective-bondage delusion.

Last time I looked, Humility is still a Virtue; Arrogance and love of ones own "intellect or genius" self is Not a Virtue.

You can live quite well without Arrogance! Ask yourself:

> "Is it worth it to Myself to keep going further in life w/Arrogance by my side?

> Or does it hold me back from things I desire and would like to have?"

By examining your inner man, I hope you make the Right Choice this time after reading what I've written here to you. I'm Cheering for You to really step up to see these things laid on the Table bare before You - not given at all to spite you or anything, but done in a sincere attempt to connect with you thru remarking on the elements that "separate" you from you say you want from many of us.

I am no friend to you if I cover-up Reality, if I pretend truth doesnt exist and favor it being ignored. That just isnt Who I am, so I take this time to reach out to You. in the hopes some of His light will peep into your shuttered mind & bright Light to your perspective.

I hope You will answer in humbleness and really take this opportunity I've provided to help yourself grow more; it is given for Your benefit & to encourage your healthiness, not at all to insult you or anything negative.

- PsychoPrincess -

Anonymous said...

That wasn't me, by the way. And it isn't the first time someone has used "my" name.

Anonymous said...

Psycho Princess, I'm guessing this is the post you were referring to in the more recent thread. I only noticed it just now.

To answer your first questions, they don't really apply because I'm not here to "make friends." What you perceive as arrogance and narcissism is me keeping to what I perceive as Truth. Can you understand that? I remain open to what you and others have to say but I am not going to bend to what you are saying simply because it is majority, or because you say you have some special connection to Absolute Truth that I do not have.

I have to remain true to my own connection to Absolute Truth, not yours.

As for the rest....sorry, I feel like I'm being told by a child what maturity is. You have some interesting things to say, and I sense your sincerity, but I don't sense a high degree of self-awareness, wisdom or spiritual maturity. There is nothing wrong with that--what is wrong is your claim to greater wisdom than you actually have.

There is a saying in the Buddhist tradition: When you see the Buddha on the road, kill him. What does this mean? When you find absolute truth in a form that is tangible, that can be seen and grasped, let it go, for it is not It. The Truth cannot be contained in any formula or ideology.

But I could be wrong...are you open to that possibility yourself? That is the key. If not--if you are absolutely certain that you are right, then you are lost. Lost to the cultism of your own mind, your own ego.

Anonymous said...

INTEGRALIST:

There is no Absolute Truth in your mind - only that which you define. There is no need for God in your world. No wonder you dont have an authentic vibrant relationship with Him and you remain in the darkness you are .

You remain "open" to nothing but your Self.

My Truth is: Go kiss your ego in the mirror as its all you do. I simply will not engage with such an infant not even out of his poopy diapers.

- PsychoPrincess -

Anonymous said...

INTY: TRY a Google search (even you can do that) for Absolute Truth = you're a moron if you think self and your brand - o - truth is Truth, and YOU are lost. I've already been Found. I never claimed Wisdom - get it RIGHT! I HAVE a vibrant relationship with God that does give me experiential knowledge of the Vertical and Horizontal.

Whats your excuse for NOT having it, o ye of great wisdumb?

Doesn't look like your piddly little ideas of "truth" offer you much of anything. Certainly not objective thinking, certainly not relationship w/God...dunno what kind of anemic Christianity you are claiming. Sure smells like a Gnostic-Pharisaical one to me. Keep it, I don't want the poison you peddle.

- PsychoPrincess -

Anonymous said...

Sad. 20-odd years ago, when I took a class from Prof. Taylor (in Philosophy of Religion or some such thing), he was an intellectually demanding teacher who, while in my mind overly taken with Deconstruction and its relatives, understood that those methods were only tools to arrive at actual facts with actual meanings, and that students should be guided to learn to think about such things for themselves.

Pity that he's come to this, and by extension my beloved Williams. I hope that when I have children at the college age, Williams will once again be a worthwhile place to go.

Anonymous said...

Spiritual vampires posing as Teachers are only qualified to teach their madness to their own kind.

Kudos to students smart enuf to reject being taught by such College-Clowns posing as "qualified teachers." Bozos at a Barnum Circus at least ADMIT what they & get paid to perform, instead of engaging in prideful denial and coverup that seeks to trick others.

Academic-Clowns arent even funny - why should they get paid?

Spiritual-Vampirism: their goal is to drain the very life out of students, since abusers always seek to drain the life out of their objects/victims with minimal complaint and struggle.

So what he actually demands is that one as a Spiritual-Vampire AND a Bozo be given freer reign in order to be "qualified" to teach us "our Faith & religious traditions?"

He made it clear in this one article what he is! And students should not *blink* at this insane demand?

- PsychoPrincess -

Anonymous said...

BRYAN: Looks like "Deconstructionism and its relatives", his demanding "religion," has finally overtaken him in he 20 yrs intervening since you attended. I pray you teach your kids to evaluate their "teachers" thoroughly and immediately Fire any of this type!

- PsychoPrincess -

Theme Song

Theme Song