Hot Dog, Love's a' Winnin'!

In turning our gaze within and rummaging around for an a priori metaphysic, I found an example -- and what is a bad man but a good man's teacher? -- that makes us want to scurry back out in the opposite direction. 

I stumbled on it while idly surfing around amazon. It has the pretentious title Clarity & Connection, by the even more pretentiously named yung pueblo. You might want to skip the bio if you gag easily:

During a silent Vipassana meditation course in 2012, he saw that real healing and liberation were possible.

Woo hoo! Then what?

He became more committed to his meditation practice while living in New York City. The results he witnessed firsthand moved him to describe his experiences in writing.

Five stars on 3,848 ratings?! Could I have written this book? Absolutely. As you could have, although it would pose a challenge to appear so stupid and banal. That's hard to fake. Nor do I have reason to believe mr. pueblo is faking it. His idiocy appears genuine:

The pen name yung pueblo means “young people” and is meant to convey that humanity is entering an era of remarkable growth and healing, when many will expand their self-awareness and release old burdens.

A new enlightened era of universal wokeness, as it were. What could go wrong?

Let's look at a few excerpts, so we too can experience some real growth and healing, expand our self-awareness, and release those old burdens:

it is not easy

healing yourself

building new habits

observing reality without projection

Now you tell us! 

Here's a riddle: what do you and Vladimir Putin have in common?

all human beings

are united by

birth,

life,

death, and

every emotion

in between 

Dude. Forget the Vipassana. Can I buy some pot from you? 

Again, we're reviewing this masterpiece in the context of the possibility of an a priori metaphysic. Have we come to the right man? More to the point, does he have strong enough pot?

the biggest shift in your life happens when you

go inward

I suspect the biggest shift in yung pueblo's life would be the discovery of the shift key. 

Anyway, what happens after we look inward? Easy, just

step in and observe all that you find with 

acceptance;

the love you bring lights up your self-awareness;

you start seeing how the past is packed into your

mind and heart --

patience, honesty, and observation start the

healing process.

And we're off to the races: look inside with love and acceptance, and before you know it, the healing process has begun.

Say what you want about yung pueblo, it's not easy to make even Deepak cringe or Oprah gag.

He makes Frank Costanza's serenity now!!! sound complicated: "next time you feel agitated" 

remember that simply being aware

that you are repeating the past

is a sign of progress

Oh: stagnation is progress. If only I had known this when I was a psychologist...

Scrolling down through the sample, it actually gets worse, but I'll spare you. 

The question is, where do we begin if we want to tap into this vast audience?

Obviously with a gimmick. I know: instead of no caps, ALL CAPS. 

I'll also need a pen name.

How about... OLD BIRD. 

TIMELESS PLATITUDES from an OLD BIRD channeled through GAGDAD BOB

Let the healing begin!

TRULY TRULY 

THE OLD BIRD 

DOES NOT KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

FOR HE WHO BEGAN THIS BOOK

PARADOXICALLY NO LONGER EXISTS

BY VIRTUE OF 

HAVING WRITTEN IT. 

BUT WAIT -- 

HE CAN ALWAYS REREAD & EDIT 

WHAT HE WROTE BEFORE --  

YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER AUTHOR -- 

NO NEED TO BE SO FUCKING POMPOUS ABOUT IT.

End of channelling. For now. The OLD BIRD has MUCH MORE to say. But I want to return to a less serious subject, that is, the possibility of an a priori metaphysic, which would be as close to a universal religion as we could imagine. 

My other question is whether revelation would have to be subordinate to it, or vice versa. I could go either way, depending on the day.  

Anyway, according to Schuon,

If one starts from the recognition of the immediately tangible mystery that is subjectivity or intelligence, then it is easy to understand that the origin of the Universe is, not inert and unconscious matter but a spiritual Substance which from coagulation to coagulation and segmentation to segmentation -- and other projections both manifesting and limiting -- finally produces matter by causing it to emerge from a more subtle substance, but one which is already remote from principial Substance.

That is one looong sentence.  I am tempted to simplify it. Or as the OLD BIRD might put it,

THE MYSTERY OF SUBJECTIVITY

IS LIKE AN INFINITE HORIZON

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE

GRAND CANYON

LEADING INTO THE

RABBIT HOLE

OF CONSCIOUS SUBSTANCE

BETWEEN THE DREAMER WHO DREAMS THE DREAM

AND THE ONE WHO IS

DREAMT. 

I CALL IT THE RELIGION 

THE ALMIGHTY AND ME

WORKS OUT

BETWIXT US. 

AH, LITTLE COONS,

I SEE YOU'RE STARIN' AT MY FINGERS.

SHALL I TELL YOU THE STORY OF RIGHT HAND - LEFT HAND --

THE TALE OF GOOD AND EVIL?