Saturday, May 24, 2008

You Can't Judge Me, I'm Culturally Incompetent!

Your regularly scheduled Saturday oldie from two years ago.


I am a sick man.

Wait. That’s the wrong way to put it. I am “a consumer in need of mental health services.” Not that there are mentally unhealthy people. Or, if there are, that we should judge them in any way. They are a vulnerable population, so we must learn about their culture and be sensitive to it.

I still don’t know why they allowed me to become a psychologist.

I’ve been licensed to practice since 1991. In order to finally get your license to steal, there are so many moola hoops you have to jump through -- including three thousand hours of internship time -- that I don’t think I could do it today. The final hoop is the state licensing exam, which includes a written part and an oral part. The written part is a piece of cake, basically a low wall to keep out total retards, er, the cognitively challenged. There is no correlation whatsoever between the ability to pass this exam and the ability to heal the soul. Amazingly, many people do not pass it, while others do so after two or three stabs at it.

Much trickier is the oral exam, because it’s subjective and they can bounce you for any reason. You are examined by a random team of two licensed psychologists, so a lot depends on the luck of the draw. The examiners proceed to read you a little clinical “vignette” and ask you questions about it. What are your thoughts? How would you treat this person? What’s their diagnosis? They then change little details, asking what you’d do in this or that situation. They always want to know what you’d do if the person were homicidal or suicidal or abusing either their children or their elderly parents.

Then they come to the really important part, cultural competence. This is where you are presented with the opportunity to fall over yourself in demonstrating how politically correct you are. It is one of the best examples I know of how the left insinuates itself into virtually every profession, converting political dogma into what is essentially law. For a license is a legal document, and it is therefore “illegal” for me to not toe the leftist line on issues of multiculturalism, cultural relativism, victimology, and political correctness. In short, I must pretend to be a racist in order to "pass" in this bizarro world -- both literally and figuratively.

Normal people don’t think about these things, but leftists are not normal people. As activists, they are always active. You and I may go about our lives earning a living, raising our children, enjoying our hobbies, happily interacting with members of other races and genders, but the activist has no life, so he is actively involved in making your life more difficult. He will not cease his activity until there are no victims left on whose behalf he can be active.

So anyway, just when you think you’ve covered the clinical vignette from every possible angle, out comes the cross-cultural curve ball: what if the patient were African American?

African American! Oh my God! A negro! What would I do? What would I do? They're not like us! They’re a completely different race, I mean, culture. The same rules don’t apply. They don’t think like you or I do. What’s crazy for you might be normal for them. Don’t forget the anger over slavery! And don’t forget that the patient won’t trust you, because you're a person of pallor! No, that’s not paranoia. For them it’s reality. You’re the Man. You’re an authority figure, and they don’t trust authority. (I wonder how this process works for blacks taking the psychology exam. Are they presumed to be “culturally incompetent” to treat people of colorlessness? And are secular psychologists deemed incompetent to treat Christians? Imagine the füror if this were the case.)

And remember, for blacks it’s a stigma to even consult a psychologist to begin with, so be very sensitive to that. And don’t forget, they have a matriarchal culture, so don’t mention the “F-word” (father). They just choose to organize their families differently, so don’t be projecting your own patriarchal values about marriage or the need for a mother and father. And remember, they’re rough on their kids, so don’t call it abuse. Mama don’t play!

So in a supreme act of self-destruction, I said something like, “You know, I don’t think this question really apples to me, because in my theoretical orientation, I look at human development objectively, no different than physical development. Just because some cultures are more obese than others, we wouldn’t therefore say that obesity is normal, would we? (Wrong!) There are certain standards and milestones of psychological maturity that one either achieves or fails to achieve, and that is the definition of pathology.”

I could see by the blank look on their faces that they weren’t buying any of it. I was about to be on the receiving end of the hidden sadism that animates the Compassionate Crowd.

Think, Petey, think!

B-but,” I said. “But I wouldn’t let my theoretical orientation, which, after all, is just a cultural construct, interfere with my appreciating the unique needs of this underprivileged population.” And I proceeded to spew what in my mind was the worst kind of racial stereotyping you could imagine. I might as well have said, “in case they get hungry, I should probably have some watermelon in the waiting room.” It wouldn’t matter. In the topsy-turvy world of the left, the more you deal in grotesque racial stereotypes, the more culturally sensitive you are.

Of course I passed. With flying people-of-colors.

But that’s not the end of the hoops. Oh no. They can’t risk you lapsing into cultural incompetence once you’re licensed. At heart you are an incorrigible racist and homophobe. Steps must be taken. So they have “continuing education” (or re-indoctrination), thirty-six hours every two years, another chance for the activists to activate. One of the reasons why I resent continuing education is that it is one of the few times I must temporarily discontinue my education.

Yesterday was a case in point. I took a mandatory ethics class which, typically, was obsessed with the rights of homosexuals, in particular, those with HIV (not that it's a gay disease!).

Here are some samples from the course:

“HIV/AIDS has its own unique ethical issues. Because HIV can be transmitted through sexual activity and by sharing drug equipment, it evokes significant personal feelings and judgments in the general public, as well as in health and social service providers.”

You shall not judge the victim! Don't be leaping to conclusions about their "drug equipment." It's not like they smoke cigarettes or something. Pregnancy is transmitted by heteronormative sexual activity, and you don't judge an unlucky woman who is punished with a baby, do you?

“The principle of justice assumes impartiality and equality. It means that a clinician will treat all clients equally and give everyone their due portion of services. This principle applies to the individual client as well as on the larger societal level.”

You shall not prefer certain people or cultures over others! Doing so is unjust. And make sure that 13% of your patients are black and 52% are women. After all, that's their "due portion" of your services.

“Individuals have the right to decide how to live their own lives, as long as their actions do not interfere with the welfare of others. This principle respects the unconditional worth of the individual and promotes the concepts of self-governance, self-determination, and self-rule.”

You shall not make any moral judgments! Doing so is immoral. Everyone is unconditionally valuable, except for people who think otherwise. And we must value self-determination and self-rule, except for official victims whose lives are determined and ruled by white male victimizers. They have no free will, and therefore, no moral standards.

“The impact of welfare reform may augment concern about access issues. Adding restrictions to a population that is already disenfranchised will require more creativity, patience, and determination on the part of the clinician who is trying to advocate for a client.”

Your job is not to "treat a patient” but to advocate for a client and achieve social justice through increasing dependence upon the federal government! And you must help your "disenfranchised" client register to vote (Democrat, of course), so that we can undo welfare reform and get them back on the dole, where they belong.

“For some counselors, the knowing transmission of HIV is as serious as hearing their client threaten to kill someone. There are differences, however, between knowingly transmitting HIV and murder. For one, the campaign to stop the transmission of HIV has encouraged people to protect themselves. Therefore, every individual is responsible for safer sex practices, so it is not entirely the responsibility of the person with HIV.”

You are not a victim if someone intentionally gives you HIV. Hey, wait, I don’t get this one... Finally, a real victim! Wrong. You can't be victimized by a homosexual, especially one with AIDS.

“Providers should consider the following questions: How can providers, and society in general, ensure that resources are distributed fairly?"

Why, by becoming Marxists, of course.

"How can such allocations be free of bias and assumptions about certain individuals, cultures, and populations?”

Umm, by having a load of politically correct cultural biases and assumptions about them?

“Cultural issues often are glossed over... For example, a gay, African American client may have difficulty dealing with his homosexuality and as a result may be having anonymous unprotected sex impulsively.”

Hmm... What if having impulsive anonymous unprotected sex is the whole point of his sub-culture? Shouldn't we be sensitive to that?

And my favorite: “Dual relationships should be avoided if possible. A clinician who knows a client via a past sexual encounter should not assume a professional role with that client.”

I looked up the word encounter: a chance meeting; a direct often momentary meeting.

Do not, under any circumstances, be a provider of mental health services to a client with whom you’ve had a chance, momentary meeting without your clothes on.

Not that there’s anything wrong with it. You're probably just an African American who can't admit you're gay.


hoarhey said...

"....but the activist has no life, so he is actively involved in making your life more difficult. He will not cease his activity until there are no victims left on whose behalf he can be active."

They'll just continue to get more and more ridiculous in their definitions of victimhood.

Thanks for coming back around on these matters of mind parasites and psychology, pointing out that the health and quality of a persons 'know thyself psychology' directly correlates with the health and quality of one's spirituality.
Insanity in a persons personal life will reflect itself in their spiritual life. Guaranteed.

Ricky Raccoon said...

“Do not, under any circumstances, be a provider of mental health services to a client with whom you’ve had a chance, momentary meeting without your clothes on.”

Now Bob, that’s an exaggeration. They said, “if possible”.
Which means, if it’s too hard don’t sweat it.

ximeze said...

Bwaaaaaaaaahahahahaha ISS!

This post is even funnier-haha second time around. How on earth were you able to keep a straight-face while sitting thru this?

It's the well-meaning, utterly sincere, pedantic obtuseness of the party line that would have me biting my lip & avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the room with clues. Once the giggles got started, no way I'd be able to suppress
full-blown laughter.

These humorless morons can't possibly be fans of Monty Python. How amusing it would be to observe their reactions, or rather, non-reaction to choice MP skits.

But, of course, they're already blind to their own absurdity, otherwise they'd not perpetuate it with their own presentations. Toooooo funny!


Ricky Raccoon said...

I cooncur, Ximeze. And it was only my first encounter. I swear, Bob!
You know, a lot of people say “laugh out loud funny” but I wonder sometimes if they actually did. But this…this! was definitely one of those. By the time the watermelon line showed up that was it for me. Glad I wasn’t eating any at the time. And chances were good for that this weekend.

Ricky Raccoon said...

Speaking of the culturally incompetent, someone was filling in for Mark Levin yesterday. The person was discussing the gay marriage ruling in California. Was making the argument that what was overturned was not a ban on gay marriage but an act to define marriage as between a man and a woman. Ok. I don’t know the details. Feel free to fill me in. I’ve lost track. But it doesn’t matter to the point: A gay man called in to say he was in favor of overturning that definition of marriage because although he admitted he had equal rights now under his civil union, such as being allowed to see his partner in a hospital, equal tax treatment (I know that’s why I got married), etc., people didn’t know what civil unions were, and because of this he has been denied his rights.

The best I can make of it is he wants a law that will protect him from chance encounters with the culturally incompetent.

QP said...

Although I seriously doubt it will happen [I keep to myself mostly], B U T ifn I find I'm in a room with one of these humorless morons, my first question will be:

Ever feel like you need a dump truck to unload your head?

I love dis and dat Bob!

Gecko said...

What Ximeze said.
By the way, does anyone know who appoints the folks that write up and administer the state licensing exam?

Jonathan Silber said...

Greetings, Mr. Godwin,

This post is one of my favorites at One Cosmos.

I agree with you that the activist is "actively involved in making your life more difficult."

That is in fact what makes the activist tick: he seeks to spit in the face, so to speak, of normal people, by thwarting them in the pursuit and fulfillment of their goals; by villifying and discrediting their values, and by undermining the institutions and traditions that embody & support those values.

A good example of the activist's ways is the movement to legalize "marriage" between homosexuals. The real aim of the movement is to destroy the special value, and sanctity, of normal, traditional marriage, and so demoralize normal folk and drive them to despair.

The typical activist is a malicious, shabby-souled degenerate. He is a destroyer, pure and simple.

Talk-show host Michael Savage refers to the type as suffering from a mental disorder; Ayn Rand says the type hates the good because and only because it is the good.

Has a more depraved, destructive type ever walked the earth?

By the way, I enjoy the quotes of Frithjof Schuon that appear in your posts. Can you recommend the book of his you consider most accessible for a beginner?

Thanks for all the instruction and entertainment. God bless you and yours.

Gagdad Bob said...

Thank you Mr. Silber. Regarding Schuon, I can highly recommend Spiritual Perspectives & Human Facts, as it essentially contains the entire doctrine, presented with a gem-like precision that can be revisited again and again for inspiration and illumination.

Gagdad Bob said...

By the way, you can sample some of the book's pages and determine whether his approach is accessible to you. Many find him difficult, while for others he is a model of clarity; but it's the subject that's difficult, not him.

ximeze said...

Has Merlin seen Smokey the African Gray do "Obama Yes We Can"? Beaky thought it was nifty, but I really, really, don't want her to learn it & have to listen to it repeated for the next 30 years.

Gecko said...

Indeed Merlin did but he much prefers Groucho
singing Yankee Doodle and How Much is that Doggie in the Window being as he is such an American Amazon

hoarhey said...


What's one more bird brain chanting 'yes we can'?
At least she's too young to vote. ;^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

"There are differences, however, between knowingly transmitting HIV and murder."

Yeah, outright murder is less tortuous and sadistic than murdering someone with HIV.

Gagdad Bob said...

In case anyone's interested, I just counted 'em, and here is a list of the most represented artists in my CD collection. Probably tells you all you really need to know about me:

Buck Owens: 8 CDs
James Brown: 9
Ray Charles: 9
Sun Ra: 9
Jackie McLean: 9
Andrew Hill: 9
Keith Jarrett: 10
Herbie Hancock: 10
Miles Davis: 11
Van Morrison: 12 (plus a lot of vinyl)
Joe Henderson: 13
Bill Evans: 15
Sonny Rollins: 15
Coltrane: 16
Sinatra: 20
Dexter Gordon: 26
Art Pepper: 27
Allman Brothers: 50

That last one's a little embarrassing, but I can explain.

Any other obsessive music collectors out there?

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

"The written part is a piece of cake, basically a low wall to keep out total retards, er, the cognitively challenged."

Ha ha ha! Retarded is easier to spell! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Well, I am obseesive about music, but I'm somewhat limited to how much I can collect (hard to give up the pork chops and grog). :^)

I'm surprised Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan aren't on that list.

Gagdad Bob said...

Johnny Cash: bubbling under with 6. My Dylan is all vinyl.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Speakin' of Bob Dylan, BabbaZee has a nice tribute at:

Happy Birthday Bob!

I shoulda gnown you would have Bob on vinyl, Bob! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Cool! I just got some virtual Amazon gift certificates!
Enough to order some more Bob Dylan and Van Morrison. :^)

Much obliged to the anonymous donors! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Here's a nice excerpt:
"The Dylan who inspired us to look beyond banal textbooks and accepted ideologies now implores us to turn inwards to the pages of the Holy Bible, a book filled with contradictions, inaccuracies, outrages, and absurdities."
~ American Atheists press release, Tucson, Arizona, 1979

"Well, the Bible says, 'The fool has said in his heart, 'There is no God'."
~ Bob Dylan responding in kind, Tucson, Arizona, 1979


Gagdad Bob said...

I have a note to myself to incorporate Dylan's hyperdimensional use of language into a post reflecting the different way we must use words to "map God."

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Great idea, Bob! That's gonna really rOck!

Gagdad Bob said...

Ben -- if you need some Van Morrison on a limited budget, you can't do better than this career-spanning 3CD collection, Still on Top. Almost four hours of music for a little over 20 bucks used.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Thanks Bob!
That's an excellent choice! :^)

Gagdad Bob said...

Half the joy of collecting is finding bargains....

Gagdad Bob said...

Speaking of which, in the EU, the copyright on music is only 50 years, so you can get stuff from 1958 and earlier for almost free -- a few dollars per disc.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to examine those examiners. My first question would be, "Is Nelson Mandela an African-American?" If they answer yes, then I'd say, "Wrong. He's not an American." I'd then send them to my own (not their) class on sensitivity training. If they said no, we would then get into a discussion on whether it is possible for the average American to distinguish between blacks who are and are not American. Most likely they would end up in my sensitivity-training class.

The second question would be, "Is Thierry Henry an African-American?" Their most likely response would be, "Who?" And that would get them a trip to my sensitivity training class, too.


julie said...

Did I read that correctly, Bob - yesterday was your birthday?

Robin Starfish said...

Along with my complete as possible Van, Dylan, and Neil Young collections, I also have spent years tracking down every Ken Nordine recording I could find. 90% of the fun was the search, especially in out-of-the way record stores in Chicago. The internet has made the search much less fun, excepting an occasional youtube video.

Gagdad Bob said...

No, not mine. I've been told I'm a scorpio with feces rising.

Gagdad Bob said...

Nordine is just ripping off William Shatner.

Ricky Raccoon said...

Who doesn’t love Shatner.
Although this one isn’t Shatner, it’s another oldie but goodie I just found buried in the same mental re-collection. The odds and ends end of the shelf.

Ricky Raccoon said...

By the way Bob, what's the tote board read for SRV?
Mine only says 1, but I’m not through with it yet.

Gagdad Bob said...

I have almost everything by SRV, which still doesn't amount to that much....

Ricky Raccoon said...

Yep. I was sad to see he wasn’t on your list. Knew the answer but checked anyway.

walt said...

It's alarming how charming
It is to be a farmer;
Alarming how charming,
The effect of the air . . .
-- The WHO

Seasonal Labor

Van said...

Pardon me, would you hand me that piano please?

Van said...

Ricky said "You know, a lot of people say “laugh out loud funny” but I wonder sometimes if they actually did. But this…this! was definitely one of those."

It's like watching Monty Python's 'The Holly Grail' again... you kind of nudge your inner 'coon and say... 'ooh!... here comes the 'samples from the course' part, just as you would the 'answer me these questions three' part. Still get a laugh out if it - I'm just able to finish chewing in time.

Just wish I'd get to see the gov't troll get flung into the abyss...

ximeze said...

OMG! A fellow Beautiful Game fan?

Please, please JFP, stick around if you're new here. Dullball season in upon us, meaning that misguided Raccoons will drone on & on about it thru-out the summer.

I'm sorry to say even our Dear Leader, who is so clueful in other ways, takes horrible, hurtful drive-by swipes at Real Football, snipingly calling it Soccer & putting it down.

So far, I'm pretty much on my own in defending our side. Lookit, I could really use some help out on the pitch.

You implied your sensitivity training class could help with Thierry-Who? Syndrome. Plenty here could use this service.

Please advise.

Sal said...

Not a musical request, but:
could we have a repeat of Will's Memorial Day poem, please? Do you think he'd mind?
It's so very good, it needs to be seen by more.

Gagdad Bob said...

I actually had pretty much the whole day free to read a book, A Conservative History of the American Left. Highly enjoyable. Shows you how the left just keeps morphing through time, and yet, always stays the same, blindly marching forward into the past and backward into the future. Truly, they're like cockroaches. They'll be with us until the End Times.

Anonymous said...

Just a quick OT, but how the hell does one get into the archives around here? I can't even find the "random" button. The best I can manage is the "search" button, but I can't for the life of me figure out how to browse old posts. I don't remember it being this hard to find when last I wished to delve into past sermons...

Petey said...

The Arkive is closed for remodeling.

Bob said...

Incredibly enjoyable reading! Gagdad Bob smashes political correctness to bits. My wife is also a psychologist and has to undergo indoctrination regularly in order to keep her license. I will make sure to tell her to read this in preparation for her next torture, er, I mean classes.

Anonymous said...

At last the truth!

I am a sick man---is the only unambiguously honest statement that you have ever made on this blog.

hoarhey said...

And yet you keep coming back.

Anonymous said...

Ximeze, I'm glad you enjoyed my comments. I got involved in the Beautiful Game over thirty years ago, and I haven't looked back. It has so much to offer that our sports don't, like World Cups, lots of participation for the amateur (I don't call playing a watered-down version of a sport like softball as real participation), and especially open-cup tournaments.

My challenge to the baseball lovers is simple: If it's so great, why are there no open-cup tournaments? Why deprive yourself of this pleasure? Look at this year's FA Cup in England. The big guys all got knocked out, and we were left with the equivalent of a less than stellar major-league team and a minor-league team. It was great! There's nothing like this for baseball fans.


Van said...

Dear Ximeze and JFP,

"If it's so great, why are there no open-cup tournaments?"

Simple answer. Because it is so great, and doesn't mistake quantity for quality.

As far as participation for the amateur, softball is for those no longer young enough to play baseball, but there are lots of private and company baseball leagues, and perhaps you've heard of Little League? AA? AAA? Minor Leagues? Baseball has all the participation we have an interest in having, thank you very much.

As far as 'open-cup tournaments', puleaze, American Idol may be appealing for some as entertainment, but it’s certainly not a basis for a sporting championship. If our local Minor League team, the 'River City Rascals' somehow made it to the World Series, we'd consider that a fiasco, not a boon, but I suppose that goes with the sport and the fans having discernment and judgment - something else which soccer and its fans lack.

'International participation' as a value has about as much worth and appeal as membership in the UN, most of whom aren't civilized enough to warrant it. I'm fairly pleased to call the US, Canada & Japan the worthwhile world, and have no interest in being champion of any other.

'Beautiful game'? A bunch of people scurrying around banging a ball with their heads and feet, not even allowed to use their most human attribute, their hands... there's something almost animalistic about it, and uber democratic (goes a long way towards explaining the behavior of your fans)... ugh... Football is as close to the disorganized running about of soccer, as we have any need to get, yet it still retains a clear hierarchy, along with the sportingization of Reason which Baseball excels at, putting strategy, time and law into game play to accomplish victory - unlike the barbarous soccer and its ability to end a game in a 'tie'... what the heck excuse for a sport is that about?

Have a nice day.


Anonymous said...

Me: "If it's so great, why are there no open-cup tournaments?"

Van: "Simple answer. Because it is so great, and doesn't mistake quantity for quality."

When I was a kid, there was an exhibition game between the old Minneapolis Millers and the Boston Red Sox. The Millers won. So much for "quality."

I've heard of Little League. It's for kids. I'm talking about the average adult who isn't a pro. If after watching a baseball game, you don't feel like playing real baseball, that's your choice. It's not mine, nor can I think of a good reason why it should be. And if softball is for those no longer young enough to play baseball, you're basically saying that baseball is for children. Why bother with it, then?

"If our local Minor League team, the 'River City Rascals' somehow made it to the World Series, we'd consider that a fiasco."

It wouldn't be the World Series, but a separate tournament. Anyway, what would the players themselves think?

"'International participation' as a value has about as much worth and appeal as membership in the UN, most of whom aren't civilized enough to warrant it."

As a grad student, I participated in intramural soccer and played with and against people from many different countries. This was my multicultural education, and it was far better than the crap that they teach under that name. It's easy enough to say that Canada and Japan are the only other countries you're interested in, but we do have to interact with many other countries in a variety of ways (trade, war, etc.), and it helps to see these people as they really are.

"what the heck excuse for a sport is that about?"

I played baseball as a kid. It was a lot of standing around and sitting around. What the heck excuse for a sport is that about?


Gagdad Bob said...

Having played both, I prefer baseball because most of the real action takes place on a higher playing field known as the mind. To watch, say, Greg Maddux, pitching (or Tony Gwynn hitting) in his prime was to literally see genius in action.

Van said...

JFP, hopefully you realize I was mostly teasing, still in your comment about the Little League, you missed the portion of "...but there are lots of private and company baseball leagues..." and there are, I've played on them (when I still had knees), and I know several people in my age range, late 40's, who still play baseball, not softball, and the games are every bit as exciting for those fans there, to watch.

“It was a lot of standing around and sitting around. What the heck excuse for a sport is that about?”

Teaching… argh… teaching isn’t the right word, but the result is, an ability to be involved in the quiet moment and realize that it is a part of the action, paying attention not to what is actually happening now, but what part the now is of the fullness of the complete game… not just patience, but a wider perspective and stick to-it-iveness… which perhaps not coincidentally is lacking in much of today’s culture.

As Gagdad mentioned, the thrilling thing about baseball, is that much of it is mental, watching the pitcher & batter square off, the anticipation of what those on base might do, the nearly suspended moment of time when the bat connects with the ball and everyone anticipates what will happen next, and will the players be able to execute it, etc, the flury of action, the center fielder hurtling cheetah-like after the ball, scooping it up, and then like Michelangelo’s David come to life, marking his target and his entire body is involved in the grace of the throw to the infield... there is within the structure of play, stillness and action and chance and skill and strategy within a form, but in no way confined to it.

One of my kids played soccer, one season, and for all its near continuous action, it was, for me, boredom incarnate. For him too. If you like it, that's fine, but it seems to me that the entire game meets the eye. Perhaps that's just me, but it seems to be a sense shared by most Americans, and I tend to think there is more to it than just the idiosyncratic.

At any rate, I didn't meant to insult, just tweak ...
...but then of course if it's Ximeze reading this, I meant every worrrrddd!.



Anonymous said...

van: Tell me why I should prefer baseball over cricket?

Gagdad Bob said...

Cricket is just a confused and murky premonition of baseball.

Van said...

I'm no expert, but my impression of watching a few cricket matches, is that it seems... claustrophobic... 2D, as compared to the 3D of baseball.

cricket said...

chirp, chirp.

Anonymous said...

You're both wrong about cricket.

Baseball is confused in that it is a meritocracy in the field, but egalitarian at bat. Cricket more consistently is a meritocracy at both times. If you're good at batting in cricket, you can stay at bat forever. In baseball, hitting a home run doesn't keep you at the plate as it does in cricket. You have to wait through the entire batting order to get another chance to bat.

As for cricket being 2d rather than 34, I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but in baseball the batter has a mere 1/4 of a circle to hit the ball into (the rest being foul-ball territory). In cricket you get the whole circle (except for the tiny bit that the stumps occupy).


ximeze said...


Van, you can throw out as much silly "fans having discernment and judgment" stuff as you want: Not Impressed

All that 'running about'is not disorganized - there are Defenders, Midfielders & Strikers who serve their functions & work as a team to advance the ball to their advantage. Plus, various arrangements of #s of each 'type' of player on the field makes a difference.

As for 'animalistic': I soytenly hope so! Any moron can see it's all about brutish, manly, studmuffin eye-candy on display.


Van said...

Ximeze said "... it's all about brutish, manly, studmuffin eye-candy on display."


Gagdad Bob said...

They already have Chippendales for that. Why confuse things by throwing a soccer ball into the mix?

ximeze said...

Chippendales??? Chippendales???????

Only if you have a taste for nancyboy dancing fags in luv with themselves & their mirrors.


Those guys look like oiled loaves of freshly baked bread that was overproofed: all puffy on the outside with no chew inside. Bleh

Give me the sinew of soccer thighs any day. Plus, my guys have proven records in the stamina department. Oh yeah!

I'll admit I'm conflicted vis-a-vis the regulation shorts these days... back in the 70's they were like hot-pants: short-shorts contoured to butt, with legs exposed. Yummy, but a bit silly looking.

Now they're long & loose.... altho they cover more at rest, we get the illicit thrill of flashes during the heat of battle. And don't forget that players swap jerseys at the end of games.


cousin Dupree said...

I'm gonna hurl.

ximeze said...



Van said...

Ximeze, this seems the only appropriate response to such statements about the Beautifoul game.

Gagdad Bob said...

Van, you've opened my mind to some of the subtleties of soccer.

ximeze said...

Hee Hee that's funny!

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