Saturday, November 25, 2006

K-k-kooky Talk!

Oh well, what’s credibility for if you can’t spend it on something extravagant? Nobody's going to read this anyway. There's no traffic on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

I’m still contending with this annoying “dead brain” phase that started exactly two weeks ago. It happens a few times a year and always involves other strange symptoms that can feel as if my entire nervous system is being unplugged and rewired, which I do not rule out. Hot, cold, muscle spasms, torrents of energy in different regions of the body, noises, fatigue alternating with energy, headaches, little “micro-moods” of various kinds that can last for seconds at a time. And sometimes there’s a sensation as if all the thoughts have been sucked out of my head, leaving just sort of a vibrating “absent presence.” I hate when that happens...

The energy is unstable and moves around from place to place -- now in my low back, now in my head, now in my neck, now in my hands or legs. Not only that, but -- I don’t mean to sound wacko here -- but so long as I can just sit quietly with it, the unpleasant sensations can become pleasant, even blissful. That happened last night as I lay down to sleep. Instead of falling asleep in under three minutes, as I usually do, there was a blissful, burning sensation in my low back, accompanied by a pleasantly alert and energized state of consciousness. Go figure.

This has been going on for, I don’t know, 30 years, although looking back on it, it’s possible that it was there during childhood as well. It often comes on like a switch, and then disappears just as mysteriously. Naturally I considered a medical explanation, but that has been a completely dry well -- don't even ask. I’ve also carefully considered a psychiatric one, but it just doesn’t correspond with anything found in the DSM, such as a somatization or bipolar disorder. For one thing, there’s nothing remotely close to loss of judgment or reality testing (at least until I published this post). It’s as if it’s an internal, parallel process that I am able to observe. In fact, if one thing has changed over the years, it is that I am more able to detach from it and not react to it -- just let it run its course, so to speak.

I know of at least one other reader who deals with the identical phenomena, and we both chanced upon a website that describes it to a “t.” As you know, I don’t normally go in for anything vaguely new-agey, and my psychological training makes me very skeptical of what are often attempts to normalize frank psychopathology. I mean, if a patient came to me with my symptoms, I’d first want to rule out a number of things before I began considering spiritual explanations.

I suppose one reason I’m writing about this against my better judgment is that I am sure there must be more than one of you out there who have had this experience. After all, if you have any familiarity with spiritual literature, these experiences are extremely common -- they're only described everywhere. I’ve read any number of them; for example, I remember in Krishnamurti’s biography (or possibly hagiography) there is a particularly vivid account of his struggles with these symptoms. (By the way, I do not want to imply that having the symptoms necessarily makes you “special” or enlightened, or that not having them implies the reverse.)

In an interesting synchroncity, the man who turned out to be my literary agent, John White, published a standard work in the field many years ago, entitled Kundalini, Evolution and Enlightenment. I must have purchased my copy in the early 1980’s, and I am now holding my dog-eared copy before me. It pretty much covers the weirderfront, with around forty chapters ranging from “Signs of Awakened Kundalini” to “Neurochemistry and the Awakening of Kundalini” to “Christian Mysticism and Kundalini.” There are personal accounts, medical theories, traditional explanations, and a chapter by no less an authority than the Big Kehuna Wilber, “Are the Chakras Real?”

Hmm, good question. I’ll just flip ahead to the last paragraph of the chapter. Ken says, “the chakras do appear to exist, and the chakras are knots.... Kundalini theory, with its penetrating understanding of these shadowy knots themselves, offers sound, wise, and powerful advice on how to see through them, so that one may finally awaken, as if from a dream, to discover that the cosmos is one’s body...” Hey, sounds good to me... Are we there yet?

As if my credibility were not damaged enough, the website I mentioned above is dedicated to the work of a person with the unlikely name of El Collie. It includes a list of typical Signs and Symptoms of Kundalini Awakening. Let’s keep an open mind and just peruse a few items on the list:

• Muscle twitches, cramps or spasms (check)
• Energy rushes or immense electricity circulating the body (check)
• Itching, vibrating, prickling, tingling, stinging or crawling sensations (check)
• Intense heat or cold (not exactly intense, but yes; a couple of episodes back, however, the cold sensations were intense -- I was freezing, when normally I am quite warm blooded)
• Alterations in eating and sleeping patterns (check)
• Episodes of extreme hyperactivity or, conversely, overwhelming fatigue (more of the latter -- no hyperactivity, but short episodes of depletion)
• Headaches, pressures within the skull (check, but generally mild and transient)
• Racing heartbeat, pains in the chest (check -- by the way, I’ve had a thorough cardiac work-up, including a CT scan and nuclear treadmill, not to mention very complete bloodwork, including thyroid)
• Digestive system problems (mild -- worse last time)
• Pains and blockages anywhere; often in the back and neck (check -- these blockages are quite fluid, changing from place to place, and can sometimes become pleasurable; I can actually move them in meditation)
• Emotional outbursts; rapid mood shifts; (no to the former but yes to the latter -- however, as I said, they’re rather short and mild, like a wind stirring up and blowing by; and it's as if they're sort of "parallel" to my predominant mood, which is actually rather cheerful)
• Hearing an inner sound or sounds, classically described as a flute, drum, waterfall, birds singing, bees buzzing but which may also sound like roaring, whooshing, or thunderous noises or like ringing in the ears (check -- occasional whooshing and ringing)
• Mental confusion; difficulty concentrating (just the latter)
• Altered states of consciousness: heightened awareness; spontaneous trance states; mystical experiences (not so much at present, but the last time, yes)
• Heat, strange activity, and/or blissful sensations in the head, particularly in the crown area (check)
• Ecstasy, bliss and intervals of tremendous joy, love, peace and compassion (again, more the last time)
• Exquisite awareness of one's environment (yes, there definitely seems to be a sensitivity to certain human environments)

Well, that’s it, I guess. Like I said, I am particularly interested in anyone else who would care to share their “K stories.” Feel free to post anonymously.

Hey, don’t make it look like I’m the only one!



Joan of Argghh! said...

It just sounds like you're in touch with your feminine side, Bob.

hoarhey said...

Lately I've been blaming similar symptoms on getting older combined with too much caffeine but can remember parallel phenomena when I wasn't so old and didn't ingest caffeine.
I just chalked it up to weird body functioning which would end up retiring me to the dugout some day. Who'd a thunk? :)

Gagdad Bob said...

PMS is possible... Nor would I want to rule out menopause...

Paul G said...

Hmm, I'm somewhat familiar with most of those sensations (well, mental confusion and I are on a first-name basis), but in my case, it turned out to be the result of a case of epilepsy. Besides a few full-blown seizures (not fun), I also had "auras" (neurologist's terminology, not mine), which are actually minor seizures which are not powerful enough to knock you out.

They are a bizarre experience; you blank out in the middle of a sentence and just stare at the person you were talking to, you forget your name, you're suddenly furious or heartbroken or terrified for a couple of seconds, then you can't remember why. Others have described seeing various light patterns or even glowing halos of light surrounding the people around them, although I have never experienced anything like that.

What's even weirder is that the whole time, there is a part of you that seems to have a sort of "third-person" perspective on the whole thing. When experiencing an aura, I was very aware of these sensations and the surrounding environment, just completely unable to get my body or mind to operate properly. Trying to describe the experience to my friends, I would tell them that it was like being pulled out of your body and made to watch it try to operate without you being in it. But at the same time, you are in it, experiencing it all in first person...

Of course, until all of this finally manifested as an all-out seizure in a restaurant and a trip to the ER, I just thought I was going crazy.

Like I said, it's a bizarre experience, and definitely not one I would describe as "blissful."

On the other hand, I can now look back on the whole ordeal as a major turning point in my life, so perhaps all of that uncontrolled synaptical activity was just a wholesale rewiring of the old melon...

Iggy Bliss said...

A ways back before I heard & heeded the call of Christ, I was ‘on the hunt’ for truth (spiritual truth in particular – though I was also accumulating lists of things I found to be true). Having been raised (in my early years) as a Catholic, and not a believer in Christ – I eschewed that particular brand of “god seek”/truth seek and cast my net in just about any other direction.

I am a musician and, at the time, had in my band (as a percussionist) a very interesting fellow who styled himself a guru (he was a Psychologist as well). He held drums circles and ‘events’ containing a mish-mash of new-age type of things. I went to a few of these (to be fair – probably more to play around with the menagerie of percussion instruments he had on hand than any honest truth-seeking (though – later on, one of the things that played a direct role in my returning to Christianity was a series of discussions with this guru on the topic of ‘truth’ – which he basically denied save in a individualistic or personal sense).

At one event there was a demonstration of Reiki (a sort of ‘spiritual healing’/laying on hands that supposedly works with ‘life force energy’ through the chakras to give a brief description). My wife (then girlfriend) and I partook of a demonstration. While there may well be many explanations for the sensations we experienced, there seemed to us that there was something to it (at least in a meditative, ‘feel good’ sense).

My wife (then girlfriend) began taking classes towards becoming a practitioner of the technique and would practice on me (lucky fellow). Anyway, to truncate – while Reiki was among the various brick-a-brac discarded from that time of searching, I was always left with a sense that chakras do exist a some kind of center or point of energy in the body and remain aware of instances when these areas (be they knots, centers, points or all of the above) are active with sensation in myself. It seems to me that these are points of connectivity between the spiritual and physical – though of the hows and whys I only confess ignorance and an eagerness to learn.

Since I’ve been drawn to this blog (I’m now a daily visitor) I’ve been pleasantly surprised/not surprised (if you take my meaning) at the synergy between topics that you bring to the table and things that I have concurrently been pondering.

While I doubt I have added much to this particular exploration, I just posted this to say thanks. Thanks.

Iggy Bliss said...

Whoops! I apologise for that long (and self referential) display name. heh.

will said...

>>I’m still contending with this annoying “dead brain” phase that started exactly two weeks ago.<<

Two weeks ago, sounds about right.

I think one thing to keep in mind about the K - and this generally seems to be the counsel of those in the gnosis - an activated K is one of those trumped up "spiritual phenomena" that is very easy for people to think or fool themselves into believing they have when, in fact, they don't have it at all. (btw, there are some here who have no doubt that you, Bob, are experiencing the genuine article)

The truth is an activated K is SO unusual and anomalous that once it starts up there is no mistaking. It's a world-rocker. However, even though it's not as rare an occurrence as it used to be, it's still fairly rare. And please, don't anybody try and do anything to actually activate the K. If it's going to happen, let it happen in its own good time - it's challenge enough when it occurs "naturally".

ben usn (ret) said...

I thought it was menohpause (for men), without the cramps (or is that the blocking you described?).
I didn't know it was called something weird (Kundalini?).
I have only experienced this phenomenon for about 20 years or so, that I can recall, and it is happening more often the last 6 years.
Micro-moods, heh! You betcha!
Vacuumed thoughts or thoughts vacuumed (I hate brain-drain too!)? Check!
Hot/cold, fatigue, sometimes energy, muscle spasms, wired, re-wired, euphoria?
Guess I'm not developing dementia.
Not many headaches though.
I do have tinitus (sp?), most the time in harmonics, many notes at once, so I'm not sure about the hearing part.
That is, since the tinitus never stops, I'm not sure about waterfall roaring, flutes and the like, since my tinitus isn't a constant single tone, but "sounds" like many things.
Well, that's a relief! Now I feel a bit saner. :^)

Gagdad Bob said...

Paul G--

Interesting. I've had nothing approximating a seizure, but I have considered something along the lines of an atypical migraine syndrome, of which there is a lot of emerging research. However, that too just doesn't fit.

Ben USN (Ret) said...

Paul G.-
Wow! Seizures...I'm not epileptic, but around 5 years ago I experienced seizures, in mid-sentence, and they only lasted briefly, followed by about 5 min. of unawareness. My family says I will be looking like I'm concentrating, and trying to learn things, and examine things not visible.
When I snapped out of it I felt relaxed and full of energy, and hyper-aware.
When they occured, I was terrified, however.
This went on for 6 months, until the 2ndtime my death was "immanent", medically speaking, with hospice, last will, and the whole works.
I also lost the ability to walk, read, or talk for more than a word or two.
Then I inexplicably (for the Doctors) got better, and the seizures stopped.
My abilities to read/write/talk/walkreturned and I don't require visiting hospice nurses any longer.
Very bizarre, but I'm very thankful for you sharing that.

It never even occured to me to force this stuff to happen, which I concur is not somehing to attempt.
Good advice!

Ben Usn (ret) said...

BTW Bob-
My wife has had menopause, but she has never experienced bliss with it (trust me!), or the hearing thingy.

Van said...

Well in an effort to not let Gagdad flap in a lonely wind of weirdness... much of the checklist I can sign off on also, and currently the annoying dead brain sensation interspersed with flights of intense thought, mood swings, feelings of connectedness & separateness, tingling & twitching - but as Will noted, I'm skeptical on whether it qualifies (for me) for the big K moment.

I had some experiences with the spontaneous flowing fire charge down the spine many moons ago, now it just seems to be aftershocks. It comes and goes. It’s become such a constant cycle of over the last couple decades, that as I commented a few days ago it’s gotten to the point that I observe to my-beside-myself “Oh look, I’m feeling blue again, isn’t that interesting? That means that in a week and a half (wish the week and a half was a given) I’ll be all fresh & energetic again. yawn. Nice weather isn’t it? How about some Coffee?”

My personal oddity is what I used to refer to being "too much air today", when often there seems to be a... difficult to describe, but if you remember rabbit ear TV, when a station didn't come in clear the picture would be filled with static?... well I usually see a sort of clear static, it doesn't interfere or cloud my vision, but nevertheless permeates it with a finely multicolored, but clear... static. Sometimes it ... um ... thickens around objects, sometimes flows, swirls & streaks. Mostly it's just kind of there. If I do a moment of attentive breathing exercises, I can feel, become aware of & direct the tingling energy about the body and the central points that the chakras supposedly identify.

Bit of a bother actually, for someone who identifies mostly with secular Western Classical Philosophy... still, it's there.

primal_john said...

Bob, sounds like you're having gasp! a . . . spiritual emergency! Not to worry as the Kundalini Awakening, or Serpent Power Awakening is common. Many months ago a woman was on your blog who had a blog site dedicated to the Spiritual Emergency. We corresponded and I read just about everything on her blog which is quite extensive. You might want to check it out.


George said...

Uh. Bob, it appears you have the symptoms of advancing age. I speak from experience on that.

Gagdad Bob said...

That might explain it if it hadn't been going on for 30+ years....

A troll this way comes said...

Contrary to what Will advises, I say go deeper, Bob. Welcome the sensations, concentrate on them, and have a conference with God:

"God, what means these? What am I to do? Clarify, my liege."

Consider yourself in the gaze of God, recieving special attention at this time; don't let such a juicy opportunity slide by without maximum engagement.

I've gotten the heat on the crown of the head sensation; this is not just kundalini--rather is is the sensation of the physical touch of God.

To see a portrayal of what I'm talking about, Google "akhenaten" and check out the old friezes showing the "Aten" with his little hand-rays.

Paul G said...

Bob -

I didn't mean to imply that epilepsy was the explanation, merely that the symptoms I experienced while having auras seem to be very similar to what you describe. It took about four months for the symptoms to result in a full seizure, which is a completely different experience from an aura. They say that a seizure is like having a power surge in your brain. Everything overloads and you black out immediately while your body burns off the excess energy with powerful muscle spasms. It's a lot like getting blind-sided by a freight train. I don't know if this would be considered the same "energy" that you're experiencing, but the similarity of description between the two experiences struck me as interesting.

Ben, I would definitely not describe my condition as "hyper-aware" after coming out of an aura or a full seizure. My thinking was very muddled for a few minutes after an aura, and a seizure would result in about an hour of unconsciousness, followed by at least two more hours of very hazy thought, wherein I could not figure out why I woke up on the floor, what the cut on my face was from, or much of anything else, for that matter.

It's very disconcerting to feel like you have no control over what your body is doing or what your mind is thinking (ha!). I was very angry for a month or so after I discovered that I had epilepsy, mainly because I felt like I had lost all control over even the most basic functions of my life.

BTW, being diagnosed as "epileptic" merely means that you've had at least two seizures. It's more a description of the symptoms rather than the cause. For a lot of people, epilepsy is related to blood sugar levels, a tumor, or some external influence (flashing lights, what have you) causing their synapses to misfire. In my case, despite several tests (and a lot of money), they still haven't been able to tell me what causes them or why I should suddenly start having seizures at 26. Apparently, it just sort of "happens" to some people with no real explanation.

ben usn (ret) said...

"Maximum engagement" of a little known "opportunity"
is unwise.
Will's advice is wise and prudent.

There is much dispute at wikipedia regarding
Much of what is written followed several centuries of oral tradition, which was also disputed and, apparently subjective.
There is also many negative side-effects attributed to kundalini, even among the more experienced.
It is never a good idea to dive into the water without knowing the depth and any possible obstacles floating just beneath the surface.
On a side note, I have no idea what the western equivolent is to this type of yoga.

By all means pray, but don't force the issue.
You cannot transcend or learn
until you are ready.
Only God knows when that is.
In other words, knock, but don't try to break the door down.

will said...

Troll - Bob's already in deep.

I wasn't talking about Bob, I was talking about people who think, o wow, what am I missing, I'll try some meditation or another, try to raise the K, sounds very cool.

That could lead to serious complications, to say the least. The K energy rises spontaneously when the Spirit says it can, and even under these conditions, it involves a serious assault on mind and body. A premature awakening could be catastrophic.

Fausta said...

When I was first diagnosed as hypoglycemic those were exactly the same symptoms I was experiencing, only much more severely.

Apparently true hypoglycemia (without diabetes) is really very rare, and the endcrinologyst that diagnosed it didn't believe he'd ever see a case until I came back for a follow-up visit with a 3-week journal keeping track of all I ate and all my blood sugar levels taken every 1.5 hrs.

My symptoms got increasingly worse until I was able to develop (by myself) a diet with no starches and no sugar added in order to keep my blood sugar levels from spiking. No thanks to the endocrinologist, who sent me to a nutritionist whose advice nearly killed me off. I also have to eat every 4 hrs.

FWIW, a somewhat similar diet was used in the 1920s for epileptics.

Just in case, keep track of your blood sugars and stay away from starches and sugar.

It might be Kundalini Awakening, or Serpent Power Awakening, but at least in your case can be sure it's not PMS.

will said...

Ben, right, the K has as aspect of Siva the Destroyer. There is of course, the Phoenix aspect, but to get to one, you have to go through the other.

Fausta said...

I must clarify that in my case, the only thing missing from the symptom was the bliss part.
Au contraire!

ben usn (ret) said...

Thanks for the info, Paul.
My experience was obviously different, and probably was related to the degraded physical state I was in.
I can say I'm very fortunate and thankful it hasn't re-occured, because losing control like that is one of the worst experiences I have had, though the "waking up" part was OK.
I hope and pray that the seizures you have, cease someday.

Lisa said...

I have been having a strange problem lately. This time it involves my new Ipod which is really amazing and cool. I have over 4500 songs on this little piece of plastic and got to sell off huge stacks of CDs collecting dust and taking up space. Anyway, my problem is that my Ipod keeps shocking my inner-ear. It is really discombobulating! I called Apple and they sent me new headphones. Well, it happened right away with the new headphones. I made Michael wear them for hours on end and he didn't get one shock!

Is something trying to communicate with me by shocking me through my Ipod? What the heck is going on and why is it only happening to me? These little shocks are quite jolting and continue down my spine. I am afraid to wear my IPod. I have also just started the process of ending my marriage, selling my house, one of my dogs just passed away....upheaval and transformation have definitely been in my cards the past two months. I can't even sleep in's that for kooky?

Van said...

This is probably completely different, but Paul G's description popped this into mind. I recall a summer when I was about 14, probably having to do with a huge growth spurt (9 in. that year), and blood sugar flipping out, in which I had a stretch where I kept coming close to, and often actually fainting, numerous times, often after jumping up suddenly.

I would feel my sight begin to get splotchy, then fade pale to white, and as I got wobbly and began to drop there'd be a sensation of myself, the "I" that we generally think of as ourselves... sort of melting and disappearing. If I fully fainted, I'd black out, then there'd be an awareness of a buzzing in the darkness followed by a reversal of the sensations - starting with a near identification with nothingness, then a seemingly very slow process, though it probably happened within 2 or 3 seconds tops, of parts of "ME" coming back on line, and this central "I" sensation becoming the day to day "I" again as each sensation of memory, identity, time and place returned and plugged in, and there I was again, Me. My thoughts would be sluggish, but with a sensation of annoyance at being bothered with unimportant details and questions like "Van! Van! You ok?! HEY Van!!!"

I still distinctly remember the impression of my personality assembling itself as if Lego blocks being snapped onto the main structure, opening more awareness and experience with each attachment. More significant to me at the time, was not the pieces coming back on, but the fully stripped down, nearer to nothingness impression of "I" that was there to have the pieces snapped on to.

Weird... but 'tis the day for kooky thoughts.

Van said...

Gives a bit of a new twist to "music to my ears" doesn't it?. You should probably keep quiet about it though, or the other iPod people will know that you haven't been fully assimilated yet, and come to take you away (Remember Steve Jobs and the Appleista's really ARE the Borgian types they accuse Microsoft of wanting to be).
Curious, does it happen on particular types of music, or everything?

Lisa said...

Van - It's happening on everything from the Rolling Stones,Ella Fitzgerald,White Stripes to Patsy Cline. I usually listen to it on shuffle, the strangest part is that it also gets stuck on Frank Zappa a lot. Literally, shocking! It's useless to fight, isn't it...must assmileate...or whatever. ;0)

Ben USN (Ret) said...

My condolences Lisa.
It's difficult when a beloved pet passes on.
I will keep you in my prayers, during these troubles you are going through, and pray you feel peace and good sleep.

HV said...

I was taught that extraordinary experiences have nothing to do with spirituality, although they may have something to do with the supernatural.

BTW, that sneaky little phrase "Having been raised (in my early years) as a Catholic, and not a believer in Christ" is one of the more absurd comments I have seen here.

Paul G said...

Ben, thanks for the kind words. I have not had a seizure or even an aura since they started me on proper medication about six months ago.

It is amazing to see the progress that medicinal science has made in just one generation. Had I been born 20 years earlier and had the same thing happen, treatment options would certainly have been limited, not to mention my own ability to live independently. Nowadays, at the cost of a very few dollars and a quick trip to Wal-Mart (peace be upon them), I can get a month's supply of pills that I take twice a day and it's like the whole thing never happened.

Thank God for science! ;)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a lot of the symptoms of Lyme disease. Many tingling sensations. Ups and downs. Brain fog, fatigue. Heart palpitations.

If you do have Lyme, and you aren't doing anything about it, the spriochetes will start to "win" and you will get worse over time. They hang out in your blood for a week or two after you've been bitten by a tick, then migrate to your joints, heart, brain, and nervous system. They make holes in your tissues and joints. They multiply. They have a cycle - monthly.

If you manage to do things that kill them off (current favorites include long-term antibiotics, megadoses of salt [tablets] and vitamin C, and/or any supplements that oxygenate the blood), you will experience what Lymies call a "herxheimer reaction," or as my doctor calls it, a "flare up." Here's a good description of it, and some more information about the disease. Here's another fairly decent overview.

Unfortunately, there is no good way to test if you have it, although they keep trying.

For your sake and as someone who really enjoys your writing, I hope you don't have Lyme. It ain't fun.

A reader in RI

River Cocytus said...

hv: 'Supernatural' either describes the power of a Spirit (spirituality) or an unexplainable natural phenomenon.

So either a telekinesist can actually create force with their mind, or something spiritual is involved.

Also, it is easy to be raised Catholic, Christian even - and not be a believer in Christ.

Believing in Christ is believing in Him, not joining a 'church'.

Therein lies all of the power of God.

Bob, I certainly hope it isn't Diabetes or Lyme disease. It might be a combination of things, too, I guess. There could be *a* spiritual element as well as a genuinely physical one (a disease/disorder.) Of course, what some won't tell you is that physical diseases can very well have a spiritual cause.

Some crazy neuroses and degenerative physical effects can be linked to deep seated bitterness, anxiety, fear, etc.

Remember, don't trust the 'feelings' -- they deceive. Look for root causes that might be doing ill to you.

If you find no root causes, physical or spiritual (or mental) then... it may very well be an awakening.

Lets hope it isn't one that results in a comatose (but ecstatic) Bob.

You're not allowed to reach catatonic bliss without us!

PS.. His mixture of symptoms remind me of how different people experience the power of the Holy Ghost... the 'fire in the bones', the 'electricity'... etc. For me, I feel as though I am being rocked back and forth by an unknown force, and no matter how strong the feeling is, I don't physically move from it. Dunno if you've ever experienced the Power, but like I said, it is experienced by each in a way that is in accord with their person.

Lisa said...

Thanks for the kind words, Ben. I'm sure it will pass, as most things do. I guess there's always a bit of darkness before dawn.

debass said...

Paul G.

I was diagnosed with epilepsy in the late 60s, took medication for twenty years, and it went away. Sometimes it comes and goes. Mine wasn't as severe as some people I knew. I hope that yours will eventually go away.

Bob, you are probably just suffering from the anxiety of the Christmas season. Mine starts on Oct. 31 and ends on Jan. 1. Isn't this the time of year when people are at their craziest? Just go to any mall. The suicide rate is the highest also. Maybe some music by Chakra Kahn would help.

Happy Ramakwanzachannukamas by the way. I'm having kundalini with pesto.

Van said...

Gagdad, I think I'd stick with chicken soup and Van Morrison.

Biker Lady said...

Hea Doctor Bob, you have a real mystery on your hands.
I thought my 'night terrors' (bad dreams) was bad but at least it's only for the night even though they never go away and I hesitate to go to sleep at times. I've always had these 'night terrors' which manifest themselves in many forms.
I try to cope with this by reading good things before falling asleep.
Doesn't always work.
I've solved the leg twitching while lying in bed (have you heard this one?)and trying to sleep by placing a bar of soap under the covers at the bottom of the bed near my feet. Seriously, this works for many people.
I have never heard of Kundalini.
Something more to learn.

FN said...

Hey Gagdad I haven't had much of that goodpain lately. I have a theory though you soft science types are really big on empirical experience probably too much so.If you were having real pain this comfortable stuff you are experiencing now wouldn't even be on the bobscale.

PSGInfinity said...


Whatever it is, I've got it, too. Complete with possible diabetes (pre-symptoms, anyway) and weird little-bitty circles on my legs (Lyme, anyone?). I've absorbed so much from your blog that I've had to ramp down due to karsmic overload,


Der Fledermaus Kompt said...

It is unlikely that Bob has hypoglycemia or Lyme disease, or even garden-variety holiday stress.

From reading his post, I would say Bob already knows what "it" is; the energy of spirit moving in the body.

I intuit that Bob's mind was made empty (fallow), and is now being plowed and planted by the Grand Mystery for a new crop of insights to come in 2007; this is his "growing season."

Iggy Bliss said...

A quick aside in answer to HV. My phrase: “Having been raised (in my early years) as a Catholic, and not a believer in Christ – I eschewed that particular brand of “god seek”/truth seek and cast my net in just about any other direction” was not meant to be ‘sneaky’, nor any kind of slight towards the Catholic Church. It is simply a statement of fact.
Being new to this posting community and attempting to find a means to both abbreviate my personal history (so as not to bore –which I’m likely doing now) and yet show why I was seeking for spiritual truth (at first) anywhere BUT in Christianity. It was meant to illustrate a naïve “been there done that” attitude and not to claim a lacking in Catholic teaching. I hope that is a wee bit less absurd.

Anonymous said...

When you consider all the myriad of things that have to function properly to keep us alive and feeling well, its downright incredible.

HV said...

OK, Iggy, sorry if I was too harsh.

River C: True, there is a spectrum of meanings of 'spirituality' and 'supernatural'. I was being very brief. I was trying to make a distinction between (1) the whole phenomenal world of unusual experiences, the paranormal, the siddhis, kundalini, energy, bliss, exalted feelings, visions, contact with angels, demons, ghosts, all of which can, indeed, be considered to be part of a spiritual or non-material dimension; and (2) something beyond all of (1), and from which (1) is a distraction.

River Cocytus said...

hv: Apologies, I tend to get offended when spirituality is treated as a pure mental (invisible) operation. I used to think so, but now I think differently about it.

However, it is very true about false wonders and miracles (for which we should be careful not to be fooled by.)

So, you've got to trust the Spirit about discerning true miracles and wonders from hocus-pocus (and from the denizens of the lower vertical.)

Anyway, the substance of one's spirituality should not, I would think-- rely on supernatural phenomenon for its validation-- I think the Bible pretty clearly points out (through good ol' Israel) how this leads on a path to trouble.

Usually miraculous accounts I read are,
1. The person does not expect a miracle, but has faith nonetheless (not knowing what might happen) and a miracle occurs (whether it be a healing, etc.)
2. The person gets forced into a situation where a miracle needs to happen.

Usually, its (2), I think the odd thing is that courage leads people to situations in which the Spirit moves in unfathomable ways, whether or not they be physically visible or not.

As for me, I'm in a bit of a slump lately. Parents getting divorce (still trouble, even when you're grown.) Doing what I can for my mother and dealing with my brother can be a real cross to be borne; and sadly there are times when my fellow workers aren't there to lend a hand.

If y'all'd drop me a line to the Almighty one time or two it wouldn't hurt. He knows I need it.

Hope y'all had a good Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

fausta's probably got it mostly right. A few other biological things to check:

1. Salt intake. Adequate potassium, sodium, magnesium, and calcium intake is important and can have many bad consequences, including some of the symptoms you mention (for instance, digestive difficulty, as potassium, sodium, and chlorine from salt are key ingredients in both bile salts and stomach acid, and acidosis and potassium deficiency both lead to intestinal dysfunction). Potassium deficiency, which is very common, affects all intracellular signaling, with strong effects on the nervous system. Potassium deficiencies are generally accompanied by a mild acidosis of the body, as without the alkaline ashes of potassium citrate or other naturally-occuring potassium compounds there is insufficient alkaline compounds in the body to compensate for the acids generated in fat and protein metabolism and maintain the body's preferred alkaline pH. Sodium deficiencies lead to dehydration, as the body sheds water to maintain osmotic pressure. Calcium and magnesium lead to various health problems, with magnesium deficiency affecting nervous system function. The best way to avoid these deficiencies is to eat lots of vegetables and fruits (aiming for 6-8 mg of potassium per day is a good level of vegetables), a little sea salt for sodium and trace minerals, plenty of water, and perhaps calcium/magnesium supplements with vitamin D if you don't get sun exposure.

2. Digestive function. Given your diabetes, you already have some pancreas dysfunction; and the digestive issues (e.g. acid reflux) are usually indicative of a lack of pancreatic enzymes. Consider supplementing with digestive enzymes, and probably probiotics as well. Getting your digestion right may solve a lot of other problems, as the digestive tract is a huge source of cytokines, growth factors, and hormones with a huge influnce on the whole body but especially the brain.

3. Especially with diabetes, you'd be well advised to adopt a fat-rich, low carbohydrate diet. Diet gets tricky once you have pancreas and kidney dysfunction, so you should consult your doctor, but I would try to minimize sugar/starch/grain intake as much as possible, get carbohydrate calories from potassium-rich and sugar-poor fruits and vegetables. When switching to a high-fat diet, be sure to take extra salts. Look at for some of the logic behind low-sugar diets.

HV said...

River C: Sorry to hear about the family troubles.

I did not mean to imply that spirituality is only mental. The mind can be as much of an obstacle as fascinating experiences and powers. When I say "mind" I mean concepts and conceptualization. Going out on a limb I would suggest that spirituality is about what is most real, and neither the material world nor the thought world is most real. They have a derived or dependent reality.

Anonymous said...

These "symptoms" you describe are frighteningly similar to experiences I have been having for quite sometime but which I haven't understood at all. Sometimes they are so overwhelming that I do not think I can bear them. I described a few of them to a friend of mine who does energy work and she suggested that I "ask the powers that be" to slow things down a bit, letting them know that it was too much for my physical body to handle. I thought it sounded a bit wacky, but out of my desperation, I braved communication and they have miraculously slowed down, but not disappeared.

I, of course, am not an expert on diagnoses and I suppose one can never be sure exactly what is going on; but I, like Mr. Godwin, am generally a healthy person and have had tests to rule out any known potential culprits, all of which have been negative.

In addition to what Mr. G described, I have noticed a very vivid dream life as well. After receiving my MA, for example, I had dreams of my cohort that lasted a full month. Each night we met, exchanged ideas that I could remember in the morning and which I would then email to them, describing what we had discussed. Eventually these dreams subsided, but the quality of the dreams has not changed nor has the blurring between them and wakefulness.

Another enormous shift has occurred in my meditations which are now effortless, deep and which fly by. I used to struggle to meditate 15 minutes. Suddenly, I am meditating 45 minutes and have to pull myself back in order to return.

It is a very strange feeling indeed when one gets the sense that she is being rewired at the cellular level. This is what the experience feels like, in the broadest terms.

Thanks for sharing your take on your experience and for introducing a new context for my own.

Mortgage Muse

Anonymous said...

Just to follow up my previous comment on biological things to check out -- here's a great primer on dietary intake of electrolytes:

Some of your symptoms (Muscle twitches, cramps or spasms; Itching, vibrating, prickling, tingling, stinging or crawling sensations; Headaches, pressures within the skull - due to dehydration; Racing heartbeat, pains in the chest - due to sodium/potassium deficiencies; Digestive system problems - as noted above) are consistent with electolyte deficiencies, especially potassium and magnesium. The remedy is to eat more fruits and vegetables, drink plenty of water, and make sure you get 1/4 to 1 tsp sea salt daily. An alternative to adding salt is to drink vegetable juices with added salt, such as V8 equivalents, thereby getting some potassium as well.

Other symptoms are more suggestive of diabetes or metabolism issues. In general, fat-burning leads to high body temperatures and carbohydrate-burning to low body temperatures, and swings in metabolism might account for temperature fluctuations. I don't know enough about diabetes to discuss these.

Anonymous said...

Gagdad - The first condition for you to research is acidosis (look up: metabolic acidosis, ketoacidosis, diabetic acidosis) - you have many of the symptoms. It's potentially quite dangerous.

Anonymous said...

P.S. - I should have said that the racing heartbeat is due to acidosis which is caused in turn by either metabolic causes (i.e. dietary potassium/sodium deficiencies) or diabetic ketoacidosis (which itself can be partially remedied by greater intake of low-calorie high-potassium vegetables). A suitable intake of vegetables would be about 3+ pounds per day. The calories and glucose contribution can be kept fairly low by eating low glycemic index vegetables. See (an invaluable resource) for data on calories and potassium content.

Anonymous said...

P.P.S. - Sorry to be so scatter-commented, but if you still drink alcohol (bad idea) you should also check out alcoholic ketoacidosis.

Here is Wikipedia on metabolic acidosis:

And on ketoacidosis:

A relevant line: "Alcoholic ketoacidosis is also an energy crisis but of different origin. Because alcohol causes dehydration and blocks the first step of gluconeogenesis, the body is unable to synthesize enough glucose to meet its needs, thus the energy crisis begins."

Lisa said...

Some may be interested in a book called "The Second Brain: The scientific basis of Gut Instinct and a groundbreaking new understanding of nervous disorders of the stomach and intestine. It is written by Dr. Michael Gershon who is chairman of the Dept. of Anatomy and Cell Biology at Columbia. Let's just say it provides more information than you ever thought you may need to know about the stomach and intestines! With the intricacy of design in the human body, how is it possible to NOT believe in God. Back to the enteric nervous system again! OK, I'll shut up again about this...

Carl and Alden May said...

Dear Bob;

Strongly recommend that you check out the Kundalini Spoort Network, which has a Group on Yahoo:

Susan Carlson, the moderator of the site, is a practicing RN who maintains a clear balance between the scientific and the hard core esoteric (you will find both in this group).

Enjoy. -T. May