Sunday, August 27, 2006

Islamists and their Symbolic Struggle Against Reality (and Real Struggle Against Irony)

As I have said before, the war on Islamo-fascism will be over the day Muslims can laugh at their dopey religion instead of seeing insults and slights everywhere and demanding respect that they have never earned.

Did you hear the latest horror (HT Dr. Sanity) about the two journalists kidnapped by the Palestinian beasts? According to the story, they were videotaped in long Muslim robes reading a statement announcing that they had converted to Islam.

If it weren’t so serious, what with two men’s lives at stake, you would almost have to laugh at the preposterousness of this stunt. It’s like a bad Monty Python skit. Imagine the brilliant discussion that went into it, probably not dissimilar to the dozen or so leftist revolutionaries in Life of Brian who spend the movie plotting how they are going to overthrow the Roman empire. In one scene, in the interest of diversity, they debate whether a man should be able to call himself Loretta and have babies:

LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.
REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! -- Where's the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!
LORETTA: [crying]
JUDITH: Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG: What's the point?
REG: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!
FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.


PALESTINIAN #1: Let’s kidnap some infidel journalists and force them to convert to Islam on video!

PALESTINIAN #2: Why? What's the point?
PALESTINIAN #2: Oh, I get it. This is brilliant, Hassan. Just brilliant. Once they convert, the journalists can hold themselves hostage, so they can negotiate with themselves for their own release and leave us out of it. Maybe while they're at it they can hold a knife to their own throats unless the infidels vote for Ned Lamont.
PALESTINIAN #1: It is symbolic of our struggle against the Zionist occupation!
PALESTINIAN #2: Yeah, right. Symbolic of your struggle against reality is more like it.


In a recent editorial, Roger Scruton suggests that the Muslims' habitual readiness to take offense is just one step removed from terrorism. It is

“not yet terrorism--but it is a sign of the deep-down insecurity of the Muslim psyche in the modern world. In the presence of Islam, we all feel, you have to tread carefully, as though humoring a dangerous animal. The Koran must never be questioned; Islam must be described as a religion of peace--isn't that the meaning of the word?--and jokes about the prophet are an absolute no-no. If religion comes up in conversation, best to slip quietly away, accompanying your departure with abject apologies for the Crusades. And in Europe this pussyfooting is now being transcribed into law, with 'Islamophobia' already a crime in Belgium and movements across the continent to censor everything at which a Muslim might take offense, including articles like this one.”

In short, seriousness is a serious problem for Muslims--and therefore, for us. Scruton concludes his piece by noting that “Whenever I consider this matter I am struck by a singular fact about the Christian religion..., which is that it is informed by a spirit of irony. Irony means accepting ‘the other', as someone other than you. It was irony that led Christ to declare that his ‘kingdom is not of this world,’ not to be achieved through politics. Such irony is a long way from the humorless incantations of the Koran. Yet it is from a posture of irony that every real negotiation, every offer of peace, every acceptance of the other, begins. The way forward, it seems to me, is to encourage the re-emergence of an ironical Islam, of the kind you find in the philosophy of Averroës, in Persian poetry and in ‘The Thousand and One Nights.’ We should also encourage those ethnic and religious jokes which did so much to defuse tension in the days before political correctness. And maybe, one day, the rigid face of some puritanical mullah will crack open in a hesitant smile, and negotiations can at last begin.

Amen. We can’t just smoke ‘em out of their holes. We have to joke ‘em out of their holes.

The comedic “hands off” attitude toward Islam betrays more than a "soft bigotry of low expectations.” Rather, it is a hard bigotry of no expectations toward the Muslim world. The Palestinians receive no criticism from the left (and the world community at large), not because they think so highly of them, but because they think so badly about them--in fact, they actually have no expectations whatsoever about them. In other words, it is not because the Palestinians are so wonderful that they are immune from criticism and mockery, but because everyone knows that it would be absurd to hold Muslims to the same standards as Christians, or Jews, or Zen Buddhists--to any standards of decency at all, really. No one is shocked at the barbarity of the Islamic world, whether it is committed by terrorists, or perpetrated in the name of the Saudi or Iranian governments.

Why is there a blackout on jokes about Palestinians, who are so eminently jokeworthy, perhaps the most laughably dysfunctional culture on earth? Likewise, the MSM goes out of its way to treat Islam not just the same as other religions, but better than other religions (and yet, somehow more fragile at the same time). This is so ironic, because it obviously has nothing to do with the secular left's affinity for religion, which they otherwise despise. In other words, Islam is not a protected species because it is a religion. It is protected because it is anti-Western, because its adherents tend to have slightly darker skin than caucasians, and because it has been granted victim status. Therefore it is untouchable.

As far as I'm concerned, the fact that we don't mercilessly make fun of our enemies is part of the same syndrome that has prevented Hollywood from making any movies about the war on terror, for fear of insulting Muslims (and, of course, because they don't want to show our military engaged in a heroic struggle against evil). We live in a morally upside down world, in which making fun of the Islamist ideology is forbidden, but committing mass murder in the name of Islam is explained away. Humorless bigots such as Juan Cole heap scorn on the United States but make every excuse imaginable for the moral failings of Islam. We will know that Muslims have come a long way when they can start making fun of themselves in the same way that Americans have always made fun of themselves, their institutions, their politicians, and their religions.

Oh well. What can you do but laugh about the situation, with a compendium pre-enjoyed One Cosmos gags from the past several months?

Do you remember when Arafat died, how his wife, Suha, rushed from Paris to be by his side? Turns out that was actually part of the pre-nup: they had agreed to be together over his dead body.

Jeopardy answer: "Thuggery, buggery, and skullduggery."
Question: "What were Yasser Arafat's favorite activities?"

At least the Palestinians are trying to do something to rid their classrooms of the psychotic anti-Semitism. I don't know if I like that idea. It means their children will end pick up bits and pieces of genocidal ideology from each other, instead of from an expert.

But anti-Semites have it so easy. If you want to boycott the Palestinians, what are you supposed to do, put off purchasing that new suicide belt? And now the Palestinians even use teenage girls for suicide bombers. In fact, the girls don't actually use suicide belts. Rather, they call them "chastity belts," because it's the only way to be certain they'll never be seen holding hands with a Christian boy.

Bottom line: in Palestine, it's every parent's nightmare to die before their children. But I give the Palestinians credit. They've evolved from primitive kinship structures to barbarous gang affiliations. With luck, they can eventually became a racket, and then perhaps a crime syndicate. Evolution doesn't happen over night.

Now the Palestinians are complaining that it's unfair for us to withhold funds until Abbas institutes some meaningful reforms. I guess they have a point. It's like we're biting the hand that steals from us. At least with Abbas, they finally have a moderate in there. Sure, he's a holocaust denier, but at least he's a moderate holocaust denier. That is, he believes that six million Jews were genuinely inconvenienced in WWII.

So much conversion to the Nation of Islam goes on in American prisons, it's more accurate to call it them "Islamic gated communities." It's making some judges a little concerned. One guy was sentenced to eleven years behind bars, double that for good Muslim behavior.

But we need to be fair. According to CAIR, when Muslims give money to charity that ends up in the hands of terrorists, it's no different than when charitable donations end up in the hands of the military wing of the Salvation Army. On the positive side, CAIR has issued a strongly worded statement that unambiguously condemns kidnapping journalists by either side.

But I think I have a solution to the problem: we could just kidnap one of their journalists, say, Christiane Amanpour, and arrange a hostage exchange. Of course, first we’d have to get her on video confessing her love for the United States.... but only as a symbol of our grasp of irony.


Dr. Sanity said...

Actually, I don't think their struggle is "symbolic". I have often wondered if these barbarians aren't throwbacks to the preconscious bicameral mind, desperately fighting to prevent the development of neural pathways between the two sides of the brain. Brilliant post, as always.

Lisa said...

I actually got this email from Suha. She seems to be having trouble collecting the money her lovely husband stole from the "Palestinian people". Poor woman...Anyone else that feels obligated to help, please feel free! Do I have connections, or what?!

Dear Sir,

- Dear friend,I seek your permission to introduce myself to you.I am Mrs.Suha Arafat,wife of Yasser Arafat the late Palestinian ruler.Before the death of my husband,I had to close my swiss bank accounts and relocated the funds.I proceeded to deposit the money as valuables in different private vaulting companies for safe keeping.This I did when the French Prosecutors started an inquiry into transfers I made into bank accounts I have in France.Please if you can assist in claiming this fund and investing it in your country,contact me as quickly as possible along with your full name,contact address and telephone number in order to give you the contact Information of the vaulting company in Europe.At the successful collection of the fund,you shall be compensated with 25% of the amount collected,5% shall be set aside to pay for the expenses incurred in the process of the collection and the balance 70% shall be retained for the investment.I count on your absolute confidentiality while looking forward to your prompt response.Regards,Suha Arafat.

Anonymous said...

Of course, to be able to make fun of yourself means that you've attained a certain level of self-awareness - it means you can distance yourself from yourself, transcend yourself, at least momentarily, to see your own egotisms for the ultimate buffoonery they are.

That the Islamo-fascists are incapable of doing this translates for me as a herd-instinct lack of self-awareness. Of course, nothing crushes self-awareness like fear, fear that others think of you as less that what you think of yourself. I've noticed that street gang ghetto kids have unbelievably prickly egos and a complete lack of self-directed humor. Under the ego-strutting is a world of fearful self-consciousness. Same situation with mafia dons and the like. Very tribal, very primitive.
And no capacity to laugh at themselves.

Anonymous said...

>>"And in Europe this pussyfooting is now being transcribed into law, with 'Islamophobia' already a crime in Belgium and movements across the continent to censor everything at which a Muslim might take offense, including articles like this one.”<<

And with every capitulation the West makes, deeper grows the contempt of the Arab world and greater their conviction that all the world can be conquered and become muslim. Just like the two journalists. :)
Judging from the ever growing moral weakness of the West, they may not be too far off.

Van Harvey said...

Coleridge had a comment about Shakespeare's uber-villain Iago, who tosses off varying reasons for his evil deeds against Othello, Coleridge calls it 'the motive hunting of motiveless malignancy.' - how better to sum up the Islamists (maybe even the leftists too) constant harping about it being everyone else’s fault, in support of their need to kill, murder & destroy as much as they breathe.

Anonymous said...

"Rabadash the Ridiculous" as C.S. Lewis named his humorless Calormene. I believe when he was publicly humiliated in defeat, he became a much more sensible ruler.

Maybe Islam can't find the irony until they are abashed, just a bit, and quite publicly. Our current policy isn't addressing the need for humiliating defeat in order to bring about the desired state of mind: calm, submissive, relaxed.

Where's the dog whisperer when you need him?

Terror-Free said...

Islamofascist CAIR Doesn't Like the Term "Islamic Fascist": FNC video, 8/14/6

CAIR Terrorist Apologist Blames Israel, FNC video, 8/12/6

Free Patriotic Corner Banners:

Gagdad Bob said...

Yes, if only CAIR were capable of appreciating the irony of their own existence, they could call it quits.

Anonymous said...

OK, Gagdad's talent finally has a world market. Why not write jokes for Islam to make fun of the Infidel, like the old Polish jokes (before anyone had met real Poles with their ancient civilization and subtle burnished cosmopolitanism). It's pointless to make jokes about them. But scripting jokes about us really might change the brain-set.

It's meant as a challenge: How many infidels does it take to change a lightbulb / issue a fatwa / saddle a camel?

Oops, I regressed to easy ridicule in the last two.

Gecko said...

Lisa, is this the one and the same Madame Suha AraFat, the wife of the illustrious Nobel Peas Pie winner? The one that lives in that oh so fab pad in Paris? I got that email too. I was so deeply touched that I gave the charmingly accented operator standing by my Visa card number, along ,of course, with my social security number, banking info as well as my mother's maiden name as he assured me that was the best way to get the tax writeoff.

Assistant Village Idiot said...

A long but thoughtful article on precisely the topic of joking and seriousness over at the Social Affairs Unit (an excellent UK essay site)

Lisa said...

Good to know we run among the same circles, Gecko! I have shed so many tears each night knowing this poor woman may not be able to keep her floor suite at some fancy Parisian hotel. I have been too weak to even write her back!!! Perhaps I can forward it to our dear friend, Terayzzzza!

Mother Effingby said...

At last, an article after me own heart. If you would plunder a wealth of things to mirthfully ridicule, just start with Arab television. And no, I am not talking about al Jazeera or Manar TV, or even PA television, worthy of ridicule they are... No, I am talking about ART, which broadcasts mainly movies from the 70s, and boy, are they stinkers! I saw a movie at the home of my Iraqi neighbors, and we nearly peed ourselves laughing so hard. Where to begin? just find it and watch it if you can....Also, they hate music in Islam. So write some songs about the faith. I wrote one called Allah hates you this I know, for the Koran tells me so.

Or this one: Give me nails in my bomb, keep me splodin' splodin' splodin' give me nails in my bomb I pray, Olly Okbar! Give me nails in my bomb keep me splodin' splodin' splodin' keep me splodin' in that Jew café.

Anonymous said...

Good post, Bob!
"Don't bite the hand that steals from you" is LOL stuff!
I believe that it is probable, if not likely, that Hamas set ths whole brouhaha up.
If an independent, "new"
terrorist group did this, there would be no reason for them to talk to Hamas, let alone do what they say.
That would be humiliating.
So, I contend that Hamas did this, and here is why:
It was a PR coup!
All the news networks, including Fox (understandably) were talking nice about the terrorist goup that did this.
They were portrayed as generous by providing food, showers and clothes. And the "guests" were treated well! How thoughtful.
The Palestinian people were portrayed as good people, who would never support a kidnapping.
Hamas was portrayed as heroes, by getting the hostages freed.
All those cameras showed the hostags and Hamas politicians shaking hands and smiling, while the journalists showed the utmost respect to their "rescuers".
The entire event humanized the terrorists!
I suspect that the "holy jihad brigade" will ever be caught.
If they are, it will be Palesinians that Hamas wants dead, and they won't live long enough to say anything.
Either way, Hamas and the Palestinians got overwhelmingly positive coverage.
It also shows that Hamas can play the media as well as Hezbollah.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of humor, thought you might appreciate some quotes from those who are typically considered left-leaning (though its not really true) comedians:

"Let's also begin tonight with quick updates on two men with that have more in common than you might think. Each is an outspoken defender of his religion. Each embroiled in heated negotiations. And each is tiny [on screen: Tom Cruise and Iranian Pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]. The difference, of course, is only one denies the Holocaust ever happened. The other simply believes the galactic overlord Xenu flew humans to Earth in DC-8s and then hydrogen-bombed them into volcanoes. What's next for the two men? Well, Cruise will be soon heading up his own independent production company, while Ahmadinejad will soon have a nuclear weapon." --Jon Stewart

"The shaky cease-fire in Lebanon continues to hold out against all odds. The peace plan, which was hammered out by the French and the U.N., called for 15,000 peace keepers led by sizable French contingent. Turns out in French, sizable translates as 200 guys in rubber dingies. Now it's all very predictable. You can't blame the French -- they're just being French. Of course, it's no great loss. Honestly, the difference between 200 French troops and 15,000 French troops is just fewer French prisoners." --Stephen Colbert

Bro. Bartleby said...

Hamlet: “For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”.

Only humans live in a world of 'appearances' because 'thinking' stands between reality and perceiving reality.

Anonymous said...

Tell the "enraged" fanatics to go Cheney themselves.