Sunday, November 24, 2013

See What Happens, Barry? This is What Happens When You F*** a Hundred Million Strangers in the Pocketbook!

WALTER: Is this your handiwork, Barry?

Barry does not respond.

WALTER: Is this your bill, Barry?

DUDE: Look, man, did you--

WALTER: Dude, please!. . . Is this what you meant by "fundamental transformation," Barry?

DUDE: Just ask him if he -- ask him about the insurance, man!

WALTER: Is this your signature, Barry? Did you actually sign something written by Reid and Pelosi without even reading it?

DUDE: Is the website yours?

WALTER: Is this your website, Barry?

DUDE: We know it's his fucking website, Walter! Where's my fucking doctor, you Marxist hack? And who stole my Social Security number?

WALTER: Look, Barry. . . Have you ever heard of Jimmy Carter?

DUDE: Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter!

WALTER: You're going to enter a world of pain, son. We know why you're suddenly calling it the ACA instead of ObamaCare. We know you stole the election --

DUDE: With the fucking IRS!

WALTER: With the fucking IRS. And we know that this is your signature legislation, Barry.

WALTER: This piece of shit is beyond the wildest dreams of your worthless commie father, isn't it, Barry?!

DUDE: Congress is gonna cut your fuckin' dinero off, Barry.

WALTER: Ah, this is pointless.

WALTER: All right, Plan B. You might want to watch the polls, Barry.

He is heading for the door. The Dude, puzzled, rises to follow him.

WALTER: This is what happens when you FUCK a hundred million STRANGERS in the ASS, Barry.

OUTSIDE

Walter is striding down the lawn with his attache case looking like a charging MSNBC host. Without looking back at the Dude, who follows:

WALTER: Fucking postmodern language problem, Dude.

He pops the Dude's trunk, flings in the briefcase and takes out a tire iron.

WALTER: Maybe he'll understand this.

He is walking over to the presidential limo.

WALTER: YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, BARRY!

CRASH! He swings the crowbar into the windshield, which shatters.

WALTER: YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?!

CRASH! He takes out the driver's window.

WALTER: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH OUR HEALTH, BARRY!

Lights are going on in houses down the street. Distant blue dog Democrats bark.

WALTER: HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS, BARRY!

CRASH!

WALTER: HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS! FUCK A HUNDRED MILLION CITIZENS IN THE WALLET, BARRY!

CRASH!

5 comments:

julie said...

We literally laughed out loud.

Unfortunately, it's funny 'cause it's true...

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Very nice.

Obama could also be the actor hired to "fix the cable." The expert.

Gagdad Bob said...

Damn. If only I had the whole scene in German, I could put in my subtitles and start a craze!

julie said...

I wonder if there's a foreign language version that you could add subtitles to? Because that would be awesome.

Jules said...

H ubris trips up lefties. Reality bites.
Until the nrxt batch of ahistorical college idiots.

Mmm.