Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Where is the Slack?

Alongside your normal, everyday life, there is another life: one in which you have SLACK.... Slack, in its cosmic sense, is that which remains when all that is not Slack is taken away. But Slack is a trickster. It is unknowable, ineffable, unsearchable, incomprehensible... hidden in revelation. --Book of the SubGenius

Where is the true Slack, and how do we acquire it? And does it have anything to do with politics? People hate it when I bring politics into our endless discussion of the Cosmic Religion, but only the people who disagree with me.

Since I believe these people -- usually unwittingly, for their intentions are good and they know not WTF they do -- embrace a pneumapolitical philosophy that erodes our collective Slack, this must mean I am on the right track.

Or is it just a coincidence that the assouls aflame who disagree with us also happen to be after our Slack? That they think there is only so much Slack in the world, and that a slackless person can acquire it by taking another man's?

In the ultimate sense, we would agree that politics cannot affect our Slack, for the Slack that can be named is not the true Slack. As we have been taught from childhood, there is the City of Man and the Siddhi of Slack, and it is an intrinsic heresy to ever believe we could forge the ladder from the crookward and dissonant timbre of mankind.

Nevertheless, it is the perennial duty of the Raccoon -- so long as he draws breath from vertical respiration -- to try, even though he knows the task is impossible. Even the great Slackbringer Moses did not come in for a promised landing, but perished in the desert bewilderness between slavery and slackery. Light this be a listen to a soul with ears to hearafter and eyes to henceforth!

A review of various scriptures of the world is instructive. Lao-tzu reminds us that only The unnamable is ultimately real, meaning that the moment we speak of it we begin to mislead if not lead -- as if we are qualified to do so! And yet, how can we not speak of Slack and still call ourselves men?

This is, of course, the orthoparadox at the heart of it all. Somehow we must maintain an abiding complementarity between the Name and the Nameless, i.e., God and O, in order to avoid what we call the heartbreak of saturation. The moment "God = What (or Who) we think God is," God is functionally dead.

With that unqualification in mind, Lao-tze doesn't shrink from discussing the relationship between politics and Slack. For example,

When the Master governs, the people / are hardly aware that he exists. / Next best is the leader who is loved. / Next, the one who is feared. / The worst is the one who is despised.

Or, If you want to be a great leader.... / Stop trying to control, for the more laws and prohibitions you enact, the less virtuous the people will be. The best way to foster rebellion is to make trivialities against the law. Such an approach makes the people depressed and crafty.

Indeed, Governing a large country / is like frying a small fish. / You spoil it with too much poking.

Clearly, this is not the recipe for an intrusive and activist state. To the contrary, it is in accord with the enduring -- barely -- American principle of That government is best which governs least; which is to say, the least that is compatible with the preservation and maintenance of Slack.

We are not anarchists, for "unbound liberty" is a contradiction in terms. Anarchy is just the other side of central planarchy, and both end in Øligarchy, or the pissing reign of antiSlack down our back. We believe in a slacktivist government rooted in ordered liberty.

Here is a passage that no leftist wants his subjects to take to heart, for it puts the kibosh on their nefarious psychospiritual economy, which runs on envy:

Be content with what you have; / rejoice in the way things are. / When you realize there is nothing lacking, / the whole world belongs to you. And if you Try to make people happy, / you lay the groundwork for misery. Nevertheless, liberal economics is always green, which is to say, tinged with jealousy.

But the Tao Te Ching is not a sufficient guardian of our slack, for if it were, China wouldn't be the way it is.

Let's go back to the beginning, and ask ourselves, "how did the Slack get here?" Some religions (e.g., Taoism) maintain that it is older than God, while others (e.g., Islam) insist that it needs to be torn from the earth root and branch with hammer and tong.

Here is what we believe: Being is the Slack in existence; Life is the Slack in matter; Psyche is the Slack in the biosphere; and Pneuma, or Spirit, is the Slack in Psyche.

Furthermore, this is a mythsemantical equation for rejoycing, since the penultimate Slack spirals 'round and rejoins the primordial Slack of Being, which consecrates this thrilling holycoaster tide on the way from Alpha to Omega and backagain -- from riverrun to swerve of shore to bend of bay, in a commodious wakeus of recirculation to the sight of salvʘcean, where You finally meets I in an eternal embrace of Fatherson.

So relux and call it a deity.

"Bob" is.
"Bob" becomes.
"Bob" is not.
Nothing is; Nothing becomes; Nothing is not.
Thus: Nothing Is Everything.
Therefore: Everything is "Bob."
Abracadabra
. --Book of the SubGenius

21 Comments:

Blogger Van said...

"That they think there is only so much Slack in the world, and that a slackless person can acquire it by taking another man's?"

Slackpires.

They're everywhere.
Deilight burns them. The Cross infuriates them. And holding up a mirror to them to point out that their reflection is nihil, enrages them.

Slackpires & Zombies & trols... O my.

5/17/2011 08:48:00 AM  
Blogger Van said...

"Here is what we believe: Being is the Slack in existence; Life is the Slack in matter; Psyche is the Slack in the biosphere; and Pneuma, or Spirit, is the Slack in Psyche."

♫ ♪ ♬ It's as easy as 1,2,3... fore! ♬ ♪ ♫

5/17/2011 08:56:00 AM  
Blogger robinstarfish said...

Eye slack for nothing.

5/17/2011 09:38:00 AM  
Blogger SippicanCottage said...

I intensified my enjoyment of this essay by playing bongos while reading it.

5/17/2011 09:54:00 AM  
Blogger Gagdad Bob said...

Maynard G. Krebs is one of our founding members.

5/17/2011 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger Gagdad Bob said...

Image now added.

5/17/2011 10:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Pippin be Trippin' said...

What is the take here on a warm personal relationship with God much akin to having a friend? He would constantly be with you, just over your left shoulder out of sight but always in inner contact.

I would consider that the ideal.

In such a case there would be no travail; constant guidance as to when to work, when to rest, what to say, what to do, what to be, and all that, would be at one's fingertips eliminating all the guesswork in life.

Can it be done? It would certainly be a mega-slacking lifestyle.

5/17/2011 10:29:00 AM  
Blogger JP said...

Relatively Pleasant Troll says:

"I would consider that the ideal.

In such a case there would be no travail; constant guidance as to when to work, when to rest, what to say, what to do, what to be, and all that, would be at one's fingertips eliminating all the guesswork in life."

I am definitely an athiest, then.

I don't belive in the kindergarten god.

5/17/2011 12:21:00 PM  
Blogger JP said...

Robesepierre is an excellent example of a Slackpire.

I think you only get to be a really impressive Slackpire when you are able to pour all your Slack into the darkness such that you be able to drain the Slack out of others.

He was a hardworking man, that Robespierre.

5/17/2011 12:24:00 PM  
Blogger John Lien said...

Pippin is on to something. Why wouldn't you strive for that state where you are in the groove and the burden is easy and the yoke is light? Where you get those intuitive nudges that help you stay away from trouble and guide your actions.

5/17/2011 01:19:00 PM  
Anonymous scory said...

I find that God is with me ("just over the left shoulder") on a periodic and quite unpredictable basis. He will remain with me for an indeterminate amount of time. I have no control over this - it happens entirely according to His will. These periods are invarably about teaching. Once the lesson s given the presence leaves and I am on my own to try and integrate what was taught and to apply it.

The times when He is near are wonderful and indescribable. The times He is distant were, back when this all started, rather unpleasant because I missed the comfort, inspiration and the "high". After years of this I realize that it is an error to seek after these experiences. To do so is to place value on the effect and not the Cause. I suspect that some day I will come to know that He is right there in every circumstance but right now during the "dark" periods I mostly think of him as absent.

It is correct that this not be a permanent state. If it were it would lead to weakness and dependency. I very much hope that there will come a time when He will stand by me always. But I suspect that won't happen until I have learned how to stand by Him even when he seems far from me and things are difficult. Being the worthless shlub that I am this will likely take a looonnng time.

5/17/2011 01:19:00 PM  
Blogger mushroom said...

This is one of those posts that hits all the questions that have been rattling around in my head lately. Perfect.

5/17/2011 01:23:00 PM  
Blogger ge said...

I may be a Slackaholic

5/17/2011 03:35:00 PM  
Blogger Rick said...

I want my em tee Slack.

5/17/2011 04:41:00 PM  
Blogger Rick said...

Who leaves a country packed with Slack?
For a country with no Slack?

5/17/2011 04:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Pippin be Trippin'. said...

JP, John, and Scory:

I can't tell you how happy I am to get your responses to my question about God guiding from over the left shoulder. Thank you all.

Two of three don't want too much help from God. The third would take it all.

I see it from both positions: To take the constant guidance from God would not be life as we know it. It would be a different kind of existence. It is offputting because it so unknown. It would be "easy" though. That much is sure. It would be pure Slack unmixed with non-slack.

To take guidance intermittently is how most of us do it now; this leads us forward, but not too fast. Life seems "normal" and has its ups and downs, slack times and stress times.

To take no guidance at all is the way of stress and non-slack and we know some unfortunates in this kind of life but they can and do change.

Love to you all. I love you guys and everyone...

5/17/2011 08:54:00 PM  
Anonymous flunky said...

Ayn Rand was not a slacker. That she now has to roast in hell because of one little mistake is just... wrong.

5/17/2011 09:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Bulletproof Monk said...

The B'ob-dude abides.

Nice post friend. Time for another sasparilla.

-- The Stranger

5/17/2011 09:57:00 PM  
Blogger USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

"Clearly, this is not the recipe for an intrusive and activist state. To the contrary, it is in accord with the enduring -- barely -- American principle of That government is best which governs least; which is to say, the least that is compatible with the preservation and maintenance of Slack."

This post is Slacktastic Bob! :^)

5/17/2011 10:57:00 PM  
Blogger USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Troll-

When gettin' Slacked silly it's best to stop trollin' before you get bitch Slacked.

5/17/2011 11:01:00 PM  
Anonymous flunky said...

No country for old slack.

5/17/2011 11:28:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home