Thursday, December 29, 2005

Petey's Big Night

Petey's supposedly got a gig New Year's Eve at some kind of comedy club "on the other side," and he wants to test-run some of the material on you. He rarely asks for favors, and I can't think of anything to write about anyway, so here it is. Frankly, some of the material makes me a little squeamish, because Petey sometimes hits below the suicide belt. But that's his problem. Don't hold me accountable.

********

Everyone thinks the Left is just being cynical in their relentless attacks on the war effort, but there's a greater principle involved. That is, if they change their normal behavior and stop trying to weaken the nation, it's like the terrorists have won. Making us less safe is their way of sticking it to the terrorists.

And why should the the Left stop attacking the Boy Scouts? After all, the ACLU just wants to make sure that the Boy Scouts will always be a safe place to scout for boys.

I guess what really disgusts the Left about the Boy Scouts is their policy of racial profiling. You know, helping little old ladies cross the street but not Muslim men in their twenties.

Then again, I have an idea for how the Boy Scouts could get around the the ACLU's attempts to bar them from using public property. Just have the boys run around naked in the woods and smear each other with chocolate syrup, and then give them an NEA grant.

Or, maybe the Boy Scouts could strike a compromise with homosexual activists and allow a merit badge for fabulous makeovers.

Personally, I think it would be a good idea for the Scouts to begin awarding a merit badge for keying an ACLU attorney's BMW.

I guess I just don't get it. Why do these leftists need to change the Boy Scouts so that they'll fit in? If they want to be part of a group of atheistic, morally relativistic, America-hating adolescents, they can always join the Democratic party.

I don't know how you feel about Bush spying on the terrorists, but I'm all for it. They need to monitor these mosques and do some basic ignorance gathering. But these Muslim groups like CAIR are always complaining, deflecting responsibility. It's like they're raising an entire not-me! generation.

I read a study that says that in some Muslim countries, sixty percent of the girls are forced to undergo clitoridectomies. I like to look on the bright side. This means that forty percent of the girls can run faster than their brothers.

What about this new President of Iran? I'd say he's a few goats short of a harem. Either that or a few nails short of a suicide bomb.

And the Democrats are still calling for us to surrender in Iraq. Then again, they do support the troops. In fact, if their support gets any stronger, the troops will have to obtain a restraining order.

Of course, if only Kerry had been elected, none of this would have happened. Unlike Bush, he promised to bend over forwards to rebuild our alliances. In fact, if Kerry had been elected, France would never have left Americans' behind. Nor, with John Edwards by his side, would we be living in "two Americas," one that can afford the finest hair care products, the other living in constant fear of a bad hair day.

But at the moment they're stuck with Howard Dean at the helm of the DNC. He works so closely with the a-holes at dailykos and moveon.org, that after his chairmanship is over he'll be able to switch his specialty to proctology.

Speaking of France, everyone thinks they're anti-Semitic, but they're actually quite evenhanded toward Jews and Palestinians. True, they want the Palestinians to have a homeland, but they also clamored for the return of Jews to their homeland in Germany during W.W.II.

I still hate the MSM. Could they be any more clueless? Their motto ought to be, "Always the last to know, so you won't have to be." They're always looking for "the roots of terror." What do you need to know about the roots of terror except that the average Palestinian roots for terror?

At least now that Israel is out of Gaza, the Palestinians are fighting with each other. It's even worse than when they escalated the truce with Israel. In fact, they're fighting like the Jihatfields & McMartyrs.

I read a story the other day about China selling arms to the Sudan, which, last time I checked, was committing genocide against Christians. That reminded me of some of the lost sayings of Confucius:

--Confucius say man who feed allahgator get eaten last.

--Confucius say man who do business with Muslim must beware of evil in tent.

--Confucius say Christians pay arm and leg for arms sold to Sudan.

--Confucius say Chinese government like peeping Tom--enjoy watching Christians get screwed.

--Confucius say Bill Clintons' secretary not permanent unless screwed on desk.

How did that one get in there? That was 1998.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least now that Israel is out of Gaza, the Palestinians are fighting with each other. In other words, they've escalated the truce. In fact, they're fighting like the Jihatfields & McMartyrs.

...and now that the second landmark Iraqi election was held (fox news analyst Brit Hume's event of the year) the Iraqi Sunni, Shia and Kirds are fighting like.....

12/29/2005 09:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you know that... US Congress voted down $50 million in aid for Darfur (albeit the embarrasingly small allocation was favored by the Admin).

'case you didn't notice the House and Sen are controlled by Repubs

That's about 3 days worth of what the US is spending in Iraq.

Facts are always more effective than rants.

Happy New Year

12/29/2005 09:07:00 AM  
Blogger Goesh said...

That Petey fellow is a genuine wag!
But would Petey shoot marauding muslims disguised as rabid militants in Darfur, that is the burning question of the hour, assuming of course that Congress had authorized the 50 million for Darfur, the budget to include a shotgun and shells for Petey to protect unarmed civilians from being shot and otherwise butchered by muslims disguised as militants? Or would Petey just hand out cash to administrators to spend as they see fit and look aside as the newly purhcased mercedes benz cars spewed dust driving fastly away from maruading muslims disguised as bandits shooting refugees in the camps? I think Petey has a hell of alot to answer for after he does his standup comic routine!

And then by God! Petey should go to Iraq and remind them of some of the historical election violence documented in the US and tell them not to act like that! they would listen to Petey, I'm convinced of it.

12/29/2005 11:03:00 AM  
Blogger RunningRoach said...

Good Grief!

Petey left one out;

--Confucius say he who fart in church, sit in own pue.

12/29/2005 01:38:00 PM  
Anonymous jwm said...

holy cow
Anonymous is right.
Republicans are evil.
Thanks for clearing that up for me.
Now I'll go vote for some democrat who will end the war.

JWM

12/29/2005 08:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A well-known conservative blogger has the policy of deleting or altering hostile/irrelevant comments to mean the opposite of what the troll intended. That is a good way to keep a comments section open and on-topic, once the trolls have found it. (The blogger I'm referring to is a lawyer, and informs people upfront about his policy.)

12/29/2005 09:35:00 PM  
Blogger OBloodyHell said...

--Confucius say Bill Clintons' secretary not permanent unless screwed on desk.

How did that one get in there? That was 1998.


---
1998? Uhhhh... You really think this is any different now?
---

> (The blogger I'm referring to is a lawyer, and informs people upfront about his policy.)

a) Don't bother to name names. I mean, when we say that DailyKos just deletes anything contrary to the Dhimmicrat meme-collective, we really mean some other blog. DailyKos doesn't really exist.

b) He's upfront with it. That's more consideration than found in most Leftool blogs, where deletions are of the Orwellian/Soviet "disappeared -- never existed" variety...

c) Most critically, I'll lay good odds this *only* applies to trollish comments, not to rationally expressed dissenting views (I can't tell, since, for no reason I can imagine, you appear to be afraid of naming names. I know of quite a few "attorney bloggers", and at least 3 or 4 of them are very well known). I frankly can't be concerned with it if it is limited to trolls (who do rank above spambots, but not a lot) and it is openly expressed upfront as policy.

12/30/2005 02:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and now that the second landmark Iraqi election was held (fox news analyst Brit Hume's event of the year) the Iraqi Sunni, Shia and Kirds are fighting like.....

...Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy, and Nancy Pelosi. It is, indeed, a terrible thing.

12/31/2005 07:55:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home