Saturday, November 10, 2012

Looking for a Few Good Übermen

For you SubGenius readers out there (and there's obviously an überlap between Raccoons and SubGenii), I think this would be a good time to reflect upon and renew your Citizenship Pledge:

--I declare my allegiance to the SubGenius Race and to my household kingdom, while severing all ties with enemies of the SubGenii (including myself if need be) except where it is fiscally required.

--As a member of this mutant empire, my first concern is Slack for myself, my family and friends.

Therefore:

I will promote divisions and wars among non-SubGenii.

I will work to cast out the False Prophets.

I will work to erase the Conforming Instinct.

I will work for Time Control in my own life.

I will work to preserve this planet from destruction except for the proper reasons.

I will work to unmask the Conspiracy and install a strict anarchy or formal chaos.

I will work to prevent humanity from ever acting with a common will.

I will work to grip the reins of evolution.

And finally:

I pledge that I will not actually "work" at any of the above; moreover that I will never voluntarily allow any shortness of Slack into my home, temple, fane, cathedral, chapel, shrine, priory, abbey, friary, convent, monastery, or place of business.

15 Comments:

Blogger ted said...

I like the idea of slack with benefits.

11/10/2012 08:43:00 AM  
Blogger Cond0011 said...

"I pledge that I will not actually "work" at any of the above; moreover that I will never voluntarily allow any shortness of Slack into my home, temple, fane, cathedral, chapel, shrine, priory, abbey, friary, convent, monastery, or place of business. "

If you are able remain in divine slackitude with everything you do, then you have truly succeeded in being forever young, for the world is truly yours and life will be far too short for all the fun things 'needed' to be done.

Amen.

11/10/2012 11:48:00 AM  
Blogger Skorpion said...

Praise "Bob"!

11/10/2012 04:00:00 PM  
Blogger julie said...

I'll drink to that.

11/10/2012 08:38:00 PM  
Blogger EbonyRaptor said...

I'll bet David Brooks sees a certain symmetry between Obama's pant and inCREASEd slack.

11/11/2012 08:00:00 AM  
Blogger mushroom said...

Surely this is something we can all disunite behind.

I cooncur,B'Atman.

11/11/2012 01:38:00 PM  
Blogger EbonyRaptor said...

I feel a disturbance in the force.

11/11/2012 04:02:00 PM  
Blogger julie said...

Nah; the only surprising thing about Williams's comment is that it took him so long to stop by and gloat. Though if he was trying to score points, I think this effort failed miserably.

11/11/2012 04:18:00 PM  
Blogger Gagdad Bob said...

You have to be highly educated to not know the difference between being highly educated and being intelligent. Or even having common sense, really.

11/11/2012 05:04:00 PM  
Blogger Gagdad Bob said...

Or else just thoroughly lacking in irony.

11/11/2012 05:04:00 PM  
Blogger Gagdad Bob said...

Bill's Tennessee Paradise. For the same money he could afford to rent a condo in highly educated California.

11/11/2012 05:08:00 PM  
Blogger julie said...

Yeah - if you're going to call people stupid for being from certain states, it probably helps to not be from one of the "least intelligent" states yourself.

Then again, only an idiot would try to make that point, so maybe he proves his case...

11/11/2012 05:17:00 PM  
Blogger Gagdad Bob said...

Most charitable states.

11/11/2012 06:18:00 PM  
Blogger Gagdad Bob said...

Highest per capita military -- those who actually make it possible for over-educated parasites to feel superior to the rest of us.

11/11/2012 06:23:00 PM  
Blogger ge said...

Wm. and his roommate late on election night

11/11/2012 11:23:00 PM  

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